331
Albums Rated
2.54
Average Rating
30%
Complete
758 albums remaining
Rating Distribution
Rating Timeline
Taste Profile
1970
Favorite Decade
Metal
Favorite Genre
US
Top Origin
Perfectionist
Rater Style ?
15
5-Star Albums
64
1-Star Albums
Breakdown
By Genre
Top Styles
By Decade
By Origin
Albums
You Love More Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Permission to Land
The Darkness
|
5 | 3.13 | +1.87 |
|
Rust In Peace
Megadeth
|
5 | 3.24 | +1.76 |
|
Bat Out Of Hell
Meat Loaf
|
5 | 3.42 | +1.58 |
|
1984
Van Halen
|
5 | 3.49 | +1.51 |
|
Licensed To Ill
Beastie Boys
|
5 | 3.53 | +1.47 |
|
GI
Germs
|
4 | 2.53 | +1.47 |
|
Moving Pictures
Rush
|
5 | 3.56 | +1.44 |
|
1999
Prince
|
5 | 3.59 | +1.41 |
|
Beggars Banquet
The Rolling Stones
|
5 | 3.61 | +1.39 |
|
Brothers In Arms
Dire Straits
|
5 | 3.73 | +1.27 |
You Love Less Than Most
| Album | You | Global | Diff |
|---|---|---|---|
|
What's Going On
Marvin Gaye
|
1 | 3.95 | -2.95 |
|
(What's The Story) Morning Glory
Oasis
|
1 | 3.85 | -2.85 |
|
Dummy
Portishead
|
1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
|
Kid A
Radiohead
|
1 | 3.71 | -2.71 |
|
It's Blitz!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
|
1 | 3.48 | -2.48 |
|
Hail To the Thief
Radiohead
|
1 | 3.45 | -2.45 |
|
Imagine
John Lennon
|
1 | 3.45 | -2.45 |
|
A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay
|
1 | 3.43 | -2.43 |
|
The Dark Side Of The Moon
Pink Floyd
|
2 | 4.43 | -2.43 |
|
Tres Hombres
ZZ Top
|
1 | 3.41 | -2.41 |
Artists
Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| The Rolling Stones | 3 | 4.33 |
Least Favorites
| Artist | Albums | Average |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds | 3 | 1.33 |
| George Michael | 2 | 1 |
| Björk | 2 | 1 |
| Massive Attack | 2 | 1 |
| Radiohead | 4 | 1.75 |
| PJ Harvey | 2 | 1.5 |
| Common | 2 | 1.5 |
| Pet Shop Boys | 2 | 1.5 |
Controversial
| Artist | Ratings |
|---|---|
| Prince | 5, 2 |
| Beastie Boys | 2, 5, 2 |
5-Star Albums (15)
View Album Wall
Popular Reviews
PJ Harvey · 2 likes
1/5
England sounds like a terrible place. Thankfully it isn't real
Khaled · 2 likes
1/5
Fuck you and your Imagine cover
Neil Young · 1 likes
3/5
I feel like this guy would collaborate with Crosby, Stills and Nash really well. They should work together sometime
Simon & Garfunkel · 1 likes
3/5
Wait so who's Al?
Rocket From The Crypt · 1 likes
3/5
This guy sounds like the new singer for Smash Mouth. Alas, it is not
1-Star Albums (64)
All Ratings
k.d. lang
2/5
Folky/Country Music that would fit the feel of a Cracker Barrel. Not my speed but K.D does have a really good voice
Arcade Fire
3/5
No Cars Go was pretty solid
Pixies
3/5
Singer seems perpetually high but some good songs
Pixies
3/5
Much better than the other Pixies album on here
The Rolling Stones
5/5
I mean it's the Rolling Stones
Prince
5/5
I think Prince killed about 6 women in the lyrics of this album
Def Leppard
4/5
Legit thought Rock!Rock! was ACDC for a minute
King Crimson
2/5
This might be a hot take and I want to preface it with I think all of the people in King Crimson are extremely talented, but this album seems more in the category of influential rather than good
Jethro Tull
3/5
Not as good as a real flutist like Lizzo but I can see where he's getting at
George Michael
1/5
Bruh has two first names
The Electric Prunes
1/5
I don't know why but this gave my dog anxiety while I was listening to it
Ray Charles
2/5
Why does a blind man have 12 children by 10 women? How does he get so many women?
Creedence Clearwater Revival
3/5
Yeah
Jimi Hendrix
4/5
I want someone to figure out the ratio of
Time Jimi is High on Acid : Time Jimi is not High on Acid
I feel like it would be an interesting number
Björk
1/5
Out of Bobcat or Bjork, this is definitely Bjork
PJ Harvey
2/5
I have never heard of this woman
Black Sabbath
4/5
Not sure if it was intentional but it was nice to listen to this right after Ozzy died
Jimi Hendrix
3/5
Jim
Derek & The Dominos
2/5
I'm here for the song Layla and the song Layla only
Beastie Boys
2/5
N word confirmed
Frank Black
2/5
I don't think this guy is a teenager
Massive Attack
1/5
Massive attack on my ears
Elliott Smith
2/5
His girlfriend totally did it
Finley Quaye
2/5
From that album cover, not at all what I was expecting
Ash
4/5
Optional album review. Add it before you vote below
Blur
3/5
I didn't listen to Song so Song 2 was kind of confusing
Lana Del Rey
1/5
Lana Del Rey seems very talented but Jesus this was a boring album
Elvis Costello
2/5
When did Elvis 2 drop?
Crosby, Stills & Nash
2/5
These guys are really good, they should recruit a fourth, perhaps Younger, member
Public Enemy
2/5
Still amazed Flavor Flav was somewhat of a Black Panther-esque rebel in a past life
The Zutons
3/5
Saxophone goes oddly hard
Jamiroquai
3/5
Where's my Jamiroquai music video recommendation? That's the whole point of Jamiroquai
Prince
2/5
I think this is the worst Prince album but it's still on this list, showing the sexual prowess of Prince in his prime
Massive Attack
1/5
Heat Miser was kind of hot with that piano making me feel like I'm heading to an exorcism
ZZ Top
1/5
We're here for La Grange and La Grange only
Beck
2/5
Oh shit, it's that guy from Futurama!
Common
1/5
Woman abuse confirmed
The Cars
3/5
You're telling me that a group of cars, with tires for hands, made this music? Fuck outta here
The Rolling Stones
4/5
Black Ops 1 nostalgia be hittin fr fr
Coldplay
1/5
This may be biased but I fucking hate Coldplay
1/5
Without checking, I guarantee this band and Death Grips are somehow influences of the other... Alright I just checked and Terence Stamp died
Maxwell
2/5
Thankfully Til the Cops Come Knockin was on this album twice
The Band
2/5
Still the best band name
John Martyn
2/5
Idiot spelled Martin wrong
Rage Against The Machine
4/5
The guy from Guitar Hero III has a band?
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
Wait so who's Al?
The Smiths
2/5
If meat is murder then my ex-wife must have been John Wayne Gacy
The Go-Go's
3/5
The Bee Movie song? In this economy?
U2
3/5
Still don't like U2 but this album was not a bad one
The Zombies
2/5
This sounds like if Church Hymns were written by hippies
PJ Harvey
1/5
England sounds like a terrible place. Thankfully it isn't real
Fun Lovin' Criminals
4/5
Could not at all tell what genre this was based on that first song
Bonnie "Prince" Billy
2/5
We should check in on this guy. Seems like he's going through a rough patch
Sarah Vaughan
2/5
I enjoyed the part where she said "I don't know the lyrics" and then proceeded to prove she definitely did not know the lyrics
Peter Gabriel
3/5
This is just Phil Collins
Van Halen
5/5
How much sex do you think these guys had?
Aretha Franklin
2/5
Respect was so good it was on here twice
Pink Floyd
4/5
I'll never forgive the damage this album did by making potheads seem intellectual
Super Furry Animals
2/5
That's about what I was thinking based on that album cover
Wu-Tang Clan
4/5
Crazy they made a band entirely on the concept of a Chappelle's show skit
Iggy Pop
3/5
The reason this is the album cover is because it was the only photo available at the time where Iggy had his shirt on
The Shamen
1/5
This album REAKS of the 90's even though it was released in 1990 so most of the work done on it was in the 80's
Rocket From The Crypt
3/5
This guy sounds like the new singer for Smash Mouth. Alas, it is not
Al Green
2/5
If you told me a guy named Al Green looked like this, I wouldn't believe you
Scritti Politti
1/5
Looked up the band out of curiosity and basically everything the Wiki said on them pointed to Punk/Post-Punk roots. This album is 100% not that
Van Halen
4/5
From the Wikipedia:
Initial critical reception was negative
Those critics heard Eruption, a song that is widely considered one of the best guitar solos of all time, and said "Meh"? Who the hell are these critics?
The B-52's
3/5
I just feel like this hairstyle has to be so much effort to maintain
Thin Lizzy
4/5
The audience chanting "Glizzy" was kind of odd. Do they not feed these guys?
1/5
I know it's coming... I know it's coming... WONDERWALL GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
Kanye West
3/5
Wonder what this guy is up to
Marvin Gaye
1/5
Gay was too crazy of a birth name, so he added an E at the end to remove some confusion
Gram Parsons
1/5
You guys are kind of on a rough streak
Duran Duran
3/5
The most 80's sounding album possible
Bee Gees
2/5
This appears to be the polar opposite of Stayin' Alive
Steely Dan
3/5
Steely Dan is weird to me because I think everybody knows who Steely Dan is but simultaneously nobody could tell me a single thing about them
Joan Baez
1/5
Back on the rough streak
Chicago
2/5
Naming a band after a city? Dumb. What's next a band named Boston?
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
1/5
I'm pretty sure Dull Life was the Dammit riff from blink182
Christina Aguilera
3/5
This album was alright but she better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Ice Cube
3/5
Ice Cube? The actor in the family movies?
Incubus
3/5
Where's my goddamn mustache man from the other Incubus covers?!
Amy Winehouse
4/5
Amy with no tattoos or drug problems? Those things are like half of her identity
Joan Armatrading
2/5
Who the hell is this person?
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
The Bad Seeds must be planted in the soil of the music because what the hell is this album?
Bob Dylan
3/5
Bob Dylan - the king of making songs that other people do better
Steely Dan
2/5
15 cent pretzels? That's a deal and a half
Run-D.M.C.
4/5
Not saying they don't deserve it but it is weird these guys are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
The Boo Radleys
2/5
If Boo Radley were real, he would approve
The Prodigy
1/5
Based on the cover I thought this would have the dancing crab meme song. It did not
The Style Council
2/5
Was reading their Wiki and the way I interpreted it was that they basically broke up because they stopped making good music, which I think is a rare but respectable decision
Tangerine Dream
1/5
What makes an ambient album good? Like how does one delineate between bad ambient and good?
2/5
This may be War, but what is it good for?
Dire Straits
5/5
I know it's not on this album but I think Sultans of Swing is one of the most underrated, if not THE most underrated, song of all time
Buck Owens
2/5
Recently this website offered me an album by The Boo Radleys. However, this guy looks like Boo Radley
Brian Wilson
3/5
Brian Wilson? The brother of the only guy who gave musical prodigy Charles Manson a shot at fame? He too makes music?
Little Richard
2/5
"Here's Little Richard!"
-Me presenting my meat to my girl while I'm standing naked at the foot of the bed, knowing damn well Little Richard will not meet her needs for the 14th consecutive time
Pet Shop Boys
1/5
The tame, 80s version of the Bloodhound Gang
Nick Drake
3/5
>Spends most of his life in the UK/UK owned territories
>Is depressed
Par for the course
De La Soul
3/5
The answer is 3
Nas
2/5
The man who is 1 higher than Eminem on Eminem's best rappers list
Rush
5/5
-.-- -.-- --..
The Velvet Underground
2/5
I'd believe that this was Iggy Pop if I encountered this in the wild
Bruce Springsteen
2/5
Isn't Bruce from Jersey? The hell is he doing out West?
Motörhead
3/5
Thinking about how that guy got laid by over 1200 women
Suede
2/5
I feel like this would be really boring to watch live. Especially coming off of No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith
DJ Shadow
2/5
According to the Wiki, this is entirely written in samples, which can be interpreted as DJ Shadow didn't create anything, but still created one of the most renowned albums
MGMT
3/5
Getting flashbanged with meme songs this whole album
Ray Charles
2/5
Said it in the last review but how did Ray Charles get soooooooo many women to fornicate with him? Like how does spitting game work when you can't see?
Ute Lemper
1/5
What the hell is going on in this album cover?
The White Stripes
4/5
I was a drummer in a band in High School and the only song our lead singer wanted to play was Seven Nation Army. While it is a good song, it is SO FUCKING BORING to play on the drums, so I have anger whenever I hear that song
A Tribe Called Quest
3/5
These guys helped start Busta Rhymes' career, but were also heavy influences on Kanye's career. So I'd call that a wash
Pere Ubu
1/5
I can, without a doubt, sing better than this guy. It feels like a scene in Don't Hug Me I'm Scared when things start to unravel
Led Zeppelin
4/5
Led Zeppelin? More like the 4 losers, am I right?
Pet Shop Boys
2/5
Better than the other one but I still don't like these guys's
Parliament
3/5
George Clinton, as important as he is to the funk movement, recently collaborated with Dance Gavin Dance. I'm not really sure how that was arranged nor why it sounds good. Also, Night of the Thumpasorus Peoples is mostly farting noises
The Divine Comedy
3/5
For being a comedy, this wasn't that funny
The War On Drugs
4/5
This sounds like every famous artist from the 70s-80s combined. I could spot Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Genesis, Bruce Springsteen, etc. at some point in here
The Rolling Stones
4/5
My fingers are a little sticky, hehe, if you know what I'm sayin (the toilet paper ripped mid wipe)
The Fall
3/5
These guys shat out an album like once a year for 30-something years, one was bound to hit
Michael Jackson
5/5
It turns out that Michael Jackson was, in fact, bad
Throwing Muses
3/5
The album was taken off of Spotify for some reason so I have to do RESEARCH to find this thing
Japan
3/5
I feel like this band could make the hottest menu music
Goldie
1/5
Opens with a 21 minute song that sounds like I'm having schizophrenia while surfing the web in the 90s
Frank Sinatra
4/5
Hard to think that the voice of Peter Griffin has this guy as basically his idol. Frank is still the GOAT, but I think ol' Seth can give him a run for his money
Elis Regina
1/5
Don't tell ICE that she's Brazilian
3/5
You give this to me when they're on their farewell tour!?!
Meat Loaf
5/5
So like, does Meat Loaf love his subject of the songs? Or not?
The Killers
5/5
White people album of the millennium
Frankie Goes To Hollywood
4/5
Typical 80s album not bad so far...
A 13 minute song by an 80's pop band?...
Oh hell yeah Relax is on this album!...
Is this a cover of War? *flashbang to the dome*...
Is this a cover of Born to Run? *second flashbang to the dome*
808 State
1/5
Daft Punk beta
Leonard Cohen
2/5
This dude looks constantly sad in all of his pictures. His music reflects this
GZA
3/5
GZA? My financial consultant?!?!
Khaled
1/5
Fuck you and your Imagine cover
Yes
3/5
Yes
System Of A Down
4/5
Not the SOAD album that I would have assumed would be on this list, but a welcome decision nonetheless
Neil Young
3/5
I feel like this guy would collaborate with Crosby, Stills and Nash really well. They should work together sometime
Happy Mondays
2/5
Apparently Shaun, the vocalist, wrote most of the lyrics while high on opium in his apartment. Which just makes sense
Bob Marley & The Wailers
2/5
While Bob Marley is talented, he created one of the worst fanbases of all time
Bruce Springsteen
3/5
I admittedly don't listen to The Boss that much, but he kind of sounds like Elvis in this album sometimes
Neneh Cherry
2/5
No no no, it's Mariah Carey
David Bowie
3/5
Somehow sounds like a Bowie album and nothing like a Bowie album at the same time
The KLF
1/5
I was put in a white room for a while
Hookworms
1/5
One of the band members has the same name as my initials, so there is little proof that it is not me
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
3/5
Fuck this Young guy get him out of here
Portishead
1/5
Makes me want to smoke cigarettes for some reason
Bob Marley & The Wailers
2/5
Still one of the worst fanbases
Cowboy Junkies
1/5
This might be a literal antithesis to Cowboys from Hell, which were released at about the same time
Peter Gabriel
2/5
Imagine writing this while your wife of ~15 years is banging a producer that you work with
Joni Mitchell
2/5
Bob Dylan as a woman and no harmonica
Slade
4/5
This album cover looks like a down syndrome ACDC
Pavement
3/5
That ain't pavement on the cover, it's a piano. Silly indie band misplacing their nouns
Green Day
5/5
Man this is a good album. Oh look, they have another album with a similar cover style released in 2020. I bet that one is like a follow up and it probably is just as good!! Let me listen... Oh god... Oh no... It's fucking terrible!!!!
James Taylor
3/5
"I'm a Steamroller baby, I'm about to roll over you"
What did he mean by this?
Motörhead
4/5
I wish I could drink as much as Lemmy did throughout his life
Iron Maiden
4/5
You guys are on a hot streak right now
Pink Floyd
4/5
Syd Barrett's story is very interesting to me. He basically fries himself with LSD to where his band, his best friends basically, can't stand him and leave him and eventually write an album, widely considered one of their best, about him. He shows up to the recording of the album and he's so far gone he can't even recognize that the album is about him. Stick to alcohol kids
Jazmine Sullivan
1/5
This girl seems annoying to be around in person
Jane's Addiction
3/5
hehehehe boob
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2/5
Not at all what I was expecting
The Adverts
2/5
Moses making everybody cross the Red Sea BUT you have to watch 3 unskippable 30 second adverts? Terrible idea
Miles Davis
2/5
I like jazz but mufuggin a 20 minute opening song followed by a 27 minute song?
Cat Stevens
3/5
This music is too optimistic. Nobody is this happy to exist
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
1/5
How many times is this guy in here? I can only give so many low ratings
Nirvana
5/5
So good that Courtney had to kill Kurt shortly after recording this
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3/5
"Sir what are you going to name yourself?"
"Neil Young because I'm young."
"What about later when you're older? You can't stay young forever."
"Watch me!"
Look at you now idiot
David Bowie
2/5
This was his 11th studio album? How many fucking albums did this guy make?
George Michael
1/5
Came in without Prejudice, left with a fair amount
Alice In Chains
4/5
Say what you want about heroin, it makes some bangers
Stan Getz
2/5
Hard listen when immediately following Alice and Chains
The Pogues
3/5
You can sodomize rum? I've got new weekend plans
David Bowie
2/5
How many fucking albums does this man have?
Various Artists
2/5
Album goes hard 3 days a year
The Smiths
2/5
The Smiths is one of the most generic names possible. Genius
The Cure
2/5
Conveniently, already in my search history
The Afghan Whigs
3/5
Anybody else think Gentlemen was going to turn into I Miss You?
Elvis Presley
2/5
Is this what was driving women to infidelity?
The Charlatans
1/5
These guys were openers for Oasis for some time. So imagine going to an Oasis concert, because you hate yourself, and who's their opener? Pretty much Oasis. You die from boredom instantly
John Coltrane
4/5
This guy's pretty talented in jazz music during the heyday of jazz. Let me check his biography:
>Addicted to heroin
>Multiple marriages
>Heavy drinker
>Dies of liver cancer set on by hepatitis
Yeah he's a jazz musician
Echo And The Bunnymen
2/5
*looks at the photographer for the cover art*
It... it can't be
Carole King
2/5
Aretha Franklin if she was Jewish. I don't know how to explain it but that's just what I feel
Tim Buckley
2/5
Is that Yung Gravy?
Wild Beasts
1/5
Not Wild nor for Beasts, like myself
Joni Mitchell
2/5
My Aunt just died so I inherited like 10 Joni Mitchell albums so this is what I have to look forward to
Burning Spear
1/5
When did Bob Marley 2 drop?
Quicksilver Messenger Service
2/5
Oh shit the Happy Trails song
Beatles
2/5
Obligatory "Every Beatles Album"
Violent Femmes
3/5
GIVE HIM THE FUCKING CAR
Girls Against Boys
3/5
Heroin and this album goes hard
TV On The Radio
2/5
That's a metal album name if I've ever heard one
Simon & Garfunkel
3/5
These guys just parodied that Family Guy skit where Peter and Quagmire become and acoustic duo
Billie Holiday
2/5
>Jazz singer in the golden age
>Dies of drugs and alcohol complications
Every time. It's almost like a right of passage to be one of the greats
Radiohead
3/5
>From the UK
>Creates a dystopian album
Checks out
Blood, Sweat & Tears
3/5
Sunshine of your love jumpscare
Ramones
3/5
I highly doubt you could delineate songs on this album without the vocals. Huh? You think you can? Nu uh I said you can't
Bob Dylan
3/5
Bruh's got 2 first names
Carpenters
2/5
These guys look like they eat sheet metal or something that would kill a mortal
Kate Bush
2/5
Who knew that while this was being made, the world was prepping for another Bush to come in and do some other stuff
Peter Tosh
2/5
Jamaican's don't be a stereotype: Impossible Challenge
Bert Jansch
3/5
These albums are absolutely bombing my Spotify DJ
Judas Priest
4/5
Dude better be careful he's going to hurt his fingers with that razor
The Isley Brothers
3/5
6
Astor Piazzolla
1/5
Some banger menu music in this album
The Velvet Underground
2/5
Nico had to leave the band shortly after this album to create her true persona, Nico Nico Nii
Radiohead
2/5
Rad io H ead
Idiots can't even type
Garbage
3/5
*Talking to the 90s George Bush*
Sir, there's been a second singer named Manson
*George throws up in my lap*
Underworld
1/5
If this is the 2nd toughest, the bar is really low for 1st place
Michael Kiwanuka
2/5
I was going to make some quip about this guy for this review, but I don't know anything about him or his music, so I've got nothing
Blur
3/5
Fuck I had money on the yellow numbered dog. My wife is going to kill me when she realizes we no longer have a house
Hot Chip
1/5
My spice tolerance is pretty good so how hot could this chip be?
Nitin Sawhney
1/5
An album in the 90s about the India-Pakistan nuke crisis is somehow still relevant
James Brown
4/5
Right around when this album was released, James tried to shoot Joe Tex with a shotgun, which is kind of cool I guess
Bruce Springsteen
4/5
Those jeans don't look very blue
The Triffids
1/5
I'm not saying it's morally right, but 2000's folk would call this gay
Belle & Sebastian
2/5
Oh I'm feeling sinister alright. I'm not normal. I'm an absolute freak
Kanye West
3/5
I cam here for the anti-Semitism but there was none :(
The Flaming Lips
2/5
Flaming Lips used to be my prison name
Björk
1/5
Frosti is very close to the FNAF song. I can see why that one guy went crazy
Elvis Presley
4/5
Think about this guy performing a song and being SO FUCKING HOT that people went into hysteria. I could see myself doing that
Terence Trent D'Arby
1/5
Sad to hear that Sananda Maitreya killed this man
The Roots
3/5
For making this album, they get the amazing reward of being Jimmy Fallon's band for all eternity
George Jones
2/5
Russell Adler?! That may be a hot take but look at his Spotify- About the Artist section
The Stooges
3/5
What's the ratio of Time Iggy has a shirt on : Time Iggy does not have a shirt on? Not even just public appearances, just like throughout the average day
Jeff Beck
3/5
Big Bird looking ass
2/5
That opening had me worried for the rest of the album
Marty Robbins
4/5
BIG IRON ON HIS HIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fairport Convention
1/5
This album cover is the type of shit you would see in a house that you rented for the weekend and when you look at a photo and say "Wow are these the old owners?" and the hosts say something like "No the owners are in the background. Who are these people in the foreground?" Then after a wild and crazy weekend of unexplainable happenings, the lady in this picture shows up and rips the skin off of her face and speaks in tongues while the man hovers ominously in the kitchen screaming something that kind of sounds racist, but you're not really sure since it was a different time when he grew up and it was ambiguous enough that it could have been about actual animals and not the other meaning that is implied. But before we can cross THAT bridge, the dog is barking at the hundreds of rats that are pouring out of the oven. And on top of ALL OF THAT, the mailman is knocking at the door, somehow completely oblivious to the hellscape that is occurring 5 feet in front of him
The Mothers Of Invention
1/5
Tom Green - The Album
Ramblin' Jack Elliott
1/5
This guy is still alive believe it or not
Beck
2/5
Oh shit that guy from Futurama... wait a minute I've already made that joke. I need other artists so I can come up with new material
Bob Dylan
2/5
I'm not saying Bob Dylan is a bad artist/not talented, but I feel like his job is so easy. Learn some chords on the guitar and some harmonica gigs and just speak into a microphone
The The
3/5
The grammatic skill needed to write about the band The The should not be understated
Dolly Parton
3/5
No boob visible :(
The Darkness
5/5
Their lead singer quit drugs and went to rehab THEN quit the band, which I totally understand not being able to perform this while sober
The Yardbirds
3/5
They nailed what an engineer looks like
Van Morrison
2/5
This might be because I'm stupid but I forgot everything about the album immediately after listening to it. Review is impossible
Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2/5
Young & Crazy Neil Horse sounds better
Beastie Boys
5/5
Some wacky lines I heard:
The New Style - The girls I like are underaged
She's Crafty - She's named Lucy but they call her Loose
Posse in Effect - Cheaper than a hotdog with no mustard
Slow and Low - White Castle Fries only come in one size
Pink Floyd
2/5
You can tell Syd is around
Nick Drake
2/5
Is this the guy Kendrick was dissing?
Pulp
3/5
"Jarvis Cocker, in particular, became an unlikely sex symbol and cultural provocateur, offering an intellectual and satirical counterweight to the laddish masculinity of contemporaries like Oasis"
-Pulp's Wikipedia article
Who out here is thinking Oasis and masculinity should be in the same sentence?
Sugar
4/5
Copper isn't blue idiot
The Louvin Brothers
1/5
Two things:
1) Loudermilk is one of the weirder last names that I have heard
2) Ira definitely did not listen to any of the warnings/messages from this album
The Doors
4/5
>Produced by a Rothchild
>Lead singer dies suspiciously
Checkmate liberals
Missy Elliott
2/5
Music did indeed make me lose control
Peter Frampton
3/5
(Joe voice) Hey Peter... your guitar is making some funny noises
Soundgarden
4/5
"Like Suicide" is what we call foreshadowing
50 Cent
3/5
He did get rich, but then went bankrupt, so does that count?
4/5
Ziggy Stardust, a fictional androgynous and bisexual rock star, made by a guy who was probably a fictional androgynous and bisexual rock star
The Saints
3/5
Went to read their Wiki to learn about them. Fucking Nick Cave reference. I can't escape him
Beatles
3/5
Good to see some indie/lesser known bands on here
The Soft Boys
4/5
This is like if somebody explained the Beatles to somebody and told them to recreate it, without having to experience the pain of listening to the Beatles
Creedence Clearwater Revival
4/5
John Fogarty? I've played golf with him and you'd think he's some fucker who likes to bite the heads off of chickens but this guy can get it out of the sand trap like nobodies fuckin business
The Kinks
2/5
I'll show these guys a kink or two
John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers
2/5
These guys look like the definition of "Bloke". I'm not from the UK, so some other bloke can correct me, but I think the inventor of the word had these guys in mind
Hugh Masekela
3/5
That did not feel like a children's song to me
Snoop Dogg
4/5
Snoop Dogg might, unironically, be the most chill person in existence
The Offspring
4/5
Dexter? My molecular biology professor?
Alexander 'Skip' Spence
1/5
I feel like we should have had a better eye on this guy at this time. Attacks his bandmates with an axe and then writes an album described as "one of the most harrowing documents of pain and confusion ever made"
X-Ray Spex
4/5
Germfree Adolescents is the opposite of my ex-wife
Thelonious Monk
3/5
LPs don't have corners silly
The Smashing Pumpkins
4/5
Bill Burr sucks now
Dwight Yoakam
1/5
The least 1988-sounding album of all time
Femi Kuti
2/5
How deep did the author of this book go to find this album?
Pink Floyd
2/5
That's not the moon dumbass. That's a triangle or something. There's also light so it's not even the dark side of it. These guys suck
Fleetwood Mac
4/5
Imagine being in a band where you just fucking HATE other people in the band because they were married to you. Only way to produce straight bangers
Beth Orton
1/5
I would have given this a 1 but she did at one point collaborate with my arch enemy, Nick Cave. So that will bring her rating down to a -423513. The providing rating system is much more limiting than that so I'll have to go with a 1
Radiohead
1/5
The song, Kid A, on this album is basically Minecraft music
Suzanne Vega
1/5
Nice fake out with Knight Moves. Also, where's my fucking Tom's Diner??
Butthole Surfers
2/5
AI ain't got shit on these guys
White Denim
3/5
White denim sounds like a terrible fashion choice. Like something Wes Watson would wear and then beat his wife
Jack White
3/5
Jack White is actually white, not confusing like Jack Black
Mercury Rev
2/5
Jonathan Donahue worked with the Butthole Surfers, and I can't find a more mismatched couple if I tried
Megadeth
5/5
Since Megadeth is the result of Dave getting fired from Metallica, this is technically a break-up album. Taylor Swift has been trying to copy this energy for years
Johnny Cash
5/5
If Hurt doesn't demolish your will to live for the time being, you're a sociopath
The Verve
3/5
Oh shit that one song
Sonic Youth
2/5
"I stole my sister's boyfriend..." is much funnier if you were unaware that the singer was a woman
The Who
4/5
The cover of a Limp Bizkit song was a weird addition but alright
Nirvana
4/5
So good that Courtney had to kill Kurt shortly after recording this. Fuck I've already used that joke
Waylon Jennings
2/5
Don't know anything about this guy, but I can guarantee he was addicted to alcohol based solely on this music
David Bowie
3/5
How many fucking times is Bowie on here?
Beastie Boys
2/5
Somehow, this created Eminem
Eurythmics
2/5
Eurythmics are allegedly a very influential band but nobody knows any other song by them besides the one. You know which one I mean
Fats Domino
3/5
Half the album isn't on spotify. Did Domino eat those songs?
The Teardrop Explodes
2/5
This is a Top 1001 album of all time? Really Robert? This beats out all but 1000?
N.W.A.
4/5
There are so many sexist, homophobic, violent, toxic masculinity and overall extreme themes and lyrics that it'll make your head spin. So that'll earn them an extra point for the rating
Billy Bragg
1/5
I wouldn't be Bragging
Liz Phair
2/5
Hehehehe... boob
OutKast
3/5
You would never assume that the guys that wrote Hey Ya would have a deserved cultural significance in the music game
Barry Adamson
2/5
Oedipus Schmoedipus, I don't want to fuck my mom
-A guy suspiciously bringing up that he doesn't want to fuck his mom
Stephen Stills
1/5
"Alright Robert, we need a list of the best/most influential albums of all time. What do you have for us?"
"I found this album called Man Asses"
"Good enough let's put it in there"
Todd Rundgren
1/5
I know nothing about this guy, but I know DMT was involved
Common
2/5
Common rarity? Shit
Tori Amos
2/5
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Johnny Cash
3/5
Try this now but with like ASAP Rocky
Beatles
3/5
Everyone knew this was fucking coming
The Band
3/5
Missed out on not calling this "The Album"
The Fall
3/5
This sounds like something in a show/movie where a character would go "Let's go to the concert tonight, I'm trying to get ccccrrrraaaazzzzyyyy!" So the writers have some type of music in the background to make it authentic, so they play this
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
1/5
Is this AMSR for europop enthusiasts?
Foo Fighters
4/5
Kurt had to die for Grohl to realize his true potential and finally put an end to the Foo once and for all
Slayer
4/5
What's Rick Rubin doing here?
LL Cool J
2/5
Half of the album isn't on Spotify so it was only like 15 minutes
Billy Joel
5/5
Looks like he did start the fire, because that's what this album is
Doves
2/5
I'll give it credit in that I had no idea what the next song was going to sound like at all
Frank Sinatra
4/5
The only way to produce bangers is to have marital issues to induce enough raw sadness and anger to make music
Adele
4/5
You know what's better than 24?
25
Radiohead
1/5
Scott Tenorman's parents died for this?
Everything But The Girl
1/5
This needed to be one the list of albums to listen to before you die because you'll want to die after listening to it, completing the cycle the list intended on
Weather Report
3/5
Rumba Mama was quite the turn
R.E.M.
4/5
R.E.M:
R - Really
E - Solid
M - Album
Sonic Youth
2/5
Womon on covor = evol
Coldcut
1/5
ASMR - you're listening to DJ beats in your kitchen and periodically you mom yells something
The Last Shadow Puppets
3/5
First thought was "This sounds like the Arctic Monkeys" and upon further analysis, yeah that makes sense.
A Tribe Called Quest
2/5
A man loved this so much that the only course of action was to change his name to Questlove
Black Flag
2/5
The sequel band, Skull and Bones, did not do as well and costed the published millions of dollars
The Beach Boys
3/5
This needs some help from musical prodigy Charles Manson
Solomon Burke
3/5
Jazz/Blues singer so he must have had either alcohol dependencies or infidelity problems. Let me check...
Never fails
Lou Reed
2/5
The baby crying mid album was an odd addition
Steve Winwood
1/5
Ohhhhh fuck I have to fart
Madonna
2/5
"She was raised catholic, then she became a whore"
-Bill Burr
Songhoy Blues
3/5
Where are these guys from... TIMBUKTU!!?
*soyjacks and cums*
Sly & The Family Stone
3/5
Highly recommend watching Jane's Addiction and Ice-T covering the song [REDACTED] from this album
The Young Rascals
2/5
"Mom can we get the Beatles on the way?"
"We have the Beatles at home"
John Lennon
1/5
"Imagine me beating my wife"
-Also John Lennon
Suede
2/5
I had about 300 beers for the weekend leading up to listening this, so I can't really process correctly what was heard
Jane Weaver
1/5
My mommy was a cosmologist
New Order
2/5
This is what my dad's nickname for me was
Kendrick Lamar
4/5
Apparently, during an interview in January 2016 Obama was asked who would win the beef: Kendrick or Drake? Obama referenced this album, saying that Kendrick would win. I don't give a rat's ass about the beef, but it's hilarious to me that Obama is about to hand off his job to DJT and he's thinking "Fuck, this move is about to cause an irreversible division in America and make everybody in power and both sides of the political spectrum really fucking annoying for the next decade, but Kendrick's last album was fire!"
Soft Cell
3/5
American magazine Out placed the album at number 66 on their list of The 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums (of All Time)
-Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret Wikipedia
Weird accolade, but an accolade nontheless
Germs
4/5
The guitarist for this band is the guitarist for the Foo Fighters. Is anybody else weirded out by that?
Janis Joplin
4/5
Hendrix died during the recording of this album, and she knew what she must do
Roxy Music
2/5
BOOB!?!?!? OH NO WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MY PANTS!???!