1984

Favorite tracks: Jump, Panama This album made me realize the amount of Van Halen I actually want to listen to is a single song in a party playlist. After about 3 songs in a row it gets really old.

Upon hearing the other parts of Jump, I find it strange that I don't remember them at all, but it was never really a song I heard a lot of when I was younger. Intro for Top Jimmy is insane with the harmonics, and the entire song is really good. What an amazing music video for Hot For Teacher. Girl Gone Bad is another highlight for me. Not particularly my favorite style of music, but I do appreciate it's greater context in rock history, Eddie Van Halen's legacy, his skill and all the other musician's skills and chemistry, because of that I can certainly see why this album is heralded by glam metal fans as one of the best of the genre.

God this is all just so SILLY isn't it?

It gets points for having a cherub smoking cigs on the cover, but it’s still Van Halen.

Didn't enjoy this at all.

Generic American 80s rock. Really not my thing

Very 80s guitar/synth

Muy generico

Saai, alleen 1e nummer leuk

Пресный глэм-рок.

Aerosmith yesterday this lot today. Sick and tired of US MOR rock. Please no more tomorrow. 2/5 2/3/26

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst - that's how i approached this album. Actually not as bad as expected, Jump is an obvious highlight, some really shady lyrics here though that reduced the star count significantly.....

I want to like it for the guitar chops and because it's musically ambitious in parts. It's really bad though isn't it. The basic songwriting is just horrible. It's like they had all this energy to create crazy extreme rock and the last thing they did was to say while drunk "okay, and we need some dumb blues tune to hang all this off.. Hot for teacher!"

It's an okay album that would be a really good album if it was fully instrumental. My favorite moments of this record were the ones where David Lee Roth isn't singing. EVH and AVH lean into the prog/proto-metal influences set forth by Rush and King Crimson in the early 1980s and though I respect the re-packaging of those sonic aesthetics with a more pop-friendly delivery, it feels like their musicianship is held back by DLR's singing. AVH's drumming is electric, though, and EVH is of course a monster with the axe. Favorite song: Hot For Teacher

це якісь електронний рок

Many of these songs got lots of radio play (Panama is my favorite) but I was never a big fan. They just seem juvenile to me. The playing on the synthesizers is rudimentary. Eddie Van Halen was innovative but lacks musicality and soul.

- Jump and Panama are still good... - The others? *shrugs* - nothing really interesting about them - forgettable melodies/riffs; dumb lyrics. - The synths (and songs) definitely feel dated. - Guitar work is good, but nothing I really care about listening to without interesting music to support. - 1.5 stars?

Yes ok, but remastered

80's hair metal is mid

Top jimmy… Drop dead legs reminds me just a little of Fat lip House of pain is interesting

What does it say about this album that the first lyric is a voice crack? Some of the instrumental elements were pretty cool, but the overall sound is kinda cheesy and the vocals gave me the ick

Strong 2. SOOOO much musical talent in this group that is ruined by horrible songwriting. They needed to bring someone in to help them. Their lyrics seemed simple and juvenile. David’s voice also just grated on certain songs, like “Panama.” My listening experience went something like this: “Oh! This sounds good, love the guitar. Hopefully this is good.” To “Oh no, this is dumb.”

I was a fan of the first three Van Halen items – although I liked each one a little less than the one before. This is their first album in the MTV era where they focused on hit singles and added heavy keyboards. I never liked the hits – Jump, Panama, Hot for Teacher (ugh - how old were they when they recorded that song?) – but I was thinking I might like the deep tracks that I hadn’t heard before. No such luck, just lots of forgettable lame pop songs. The one song I like was the very last song House of Pain, which would’ve fit in perfectly with the first Van Halen album.

Nja, jump känner jag igen annars mycket så rock

Pretty overrated in my opinion.

jump and last christmas are on the same level

100% dad music

Some pretty talented people making some lizard brain music. The hits are good but the rest are forgettable. Will always have fond memories chugging beers to this in college but that's about it.

Jump was ok, rest of the album sounded like any hair rock album.

Still have a soft spot for Jump, that puts me straight back into my early 20s, DJing and hanging around in bars in Camden days... the rest of this is pretty stupid and not particularly interesting though. Waynes World music at best.

Listening session: january 30th, while commuting to internship Listened to before: heard one song before Thoughts: I grew up with my dad listening to Jump so that was really nostalgic to me but the rest didn’t grab me unfortunately Favourite tracks: Jump

Idk why but my brain always gets Van Halen and Metallica mixed up so imagine my surprise when the synths started

NFL music

Frustrating listen, they get some good riffs in there but the whole tone of this album is so obnoxious to me. Jump is good, brownie points for brevity and a great album cover

Maybe I just find Eddie Van Halen influential for a guitar style I find super annoying lol and I'm holding that against this perfectly passable album. Not my jam but well performed and produced. "Drop Dead Legs" is the one new song I enjoyed hearing.

I like jump

I enjoy dumb guy music as much as the next person but perhaps we've run up against the limits of its appeal with Hot for Teacher. Songs added to my 1001 Bangers playlist: Jump, Panama

didn’t like

Not as good as their first album. A bit of a grind starting mid-album.

Coming to this just two weeks after their debut album, I have to admit I was disappointed. Whereas their first album had a playful, unpolished quality to it, this felt like the same bag of tricks but with a fancier marketing and distribution campaign. But I do, unsarcastically, appreciate that their albums keep to an unpretentious length under 40 minutes.

Listening to this made me feel like an in-the-midst-of-puberty middle schooler, and no that isn't a compliment to Van Halen. Only thing that saves this album from being 1 star is the masterful guitar and drum work of Eddie and Alex van halen

Clown music.

Le chanteur est cool mais le synthetiseur est trop present pas fan mais sympa

Instrumental prowess is outstanding and I don’t want to talk about the rest.

Jump is natuurlijk leuk. Verder niet mijn kopje thee. Recht-toe-recht-aan hardrock...leuk voor een feestje, niet om te luisteren

Not my fave but not the worst / jump was the best track

More like 2.5./2.75. Not my favorite 80s rock and not my favorite Van Halen, but high energy and fun if you’re in the mood for it.

Proper cringe stuff. The first two tracks started alright but after that it was a tough listen. Maybe 'I'll Wait' was alright too but it was thin pickings. Glad it was only half an hour

A few good songs, but overall nothing too special. I think it's just not for me

You can feel about it however you want. I'll even agree Eddie was excellent at guitar and David lee Roth was a charismatic front man. As a modern listening experience however, this stuff doesn't hold up separated from nostalgia. It's dated, wanky goofball rawk only loved by those stuck in time.

I find this music embarrassing, but it does make me smile, in a kind of pitiful way.

No Another Overindulgent Record, which I kept forgetting I was listening to, as it just blended away. Not for me.

One absolute banger. Rest of it is so bad.

Getting two stars only for Jump. The rest is one star boredom.

Hair metal sucks. All of it. The only decent songs here are Jump, Panama, and Hot for Teacher. And they aren't even good. Just OK. You could take all the other songs I haven't mentioned off the album and lose absolutely nothing. Really I think I should rate this 1 star but I'll give it 2. I'm trying to be more positive this year.

mercifully short

65

the corniest shit

I never listened to Van Halen growing up, just wasn’t in the house. I got pretty excited when Jump came on, what a banger. The rest of the album was pretty forgettable though. Song added to the playlist: Jump

Se me hizo aburrido. Flojo. Si esto es la cumbre del hard rock, no es un género que me llegue. Igual supongo hay álbumes mejores del género. 4/10

Sånn jeg forstår gitarene er bra og sånt men sånn det er virkelig ikke noe for meg syngingen er så mid og tekstene er dritkjedelige nesten alle sangene høres helt like ut og eneste som gjør dette albumet en smule interresant er synthene i noen av sangene men selv de er ganske basic 80talls mainstream synth pop så, 2/5

Just not my kind of thing

i had no idea jump was by van halen. i remember that song being in sing. 1984 was a fun track but most of the album isn’t smth id typically listen to.

Ne mano stiliaus, gera muzika, bet be esmes 5/10 visas albumas antra karta neklausyciau

Still not my thing. I kinda like the cheesy synth riff of "Jump" but even that is mostly a nostalgia for 80s movie soundtracks than the actual song itself. The noodley guitar solos just don't do it for me.

Here we are. First Van Halen album. I'm confident I've never listened to a song from these guys before, though stranger things have happened. I think I've been around music enough to know that these guys are a hard rock band, but that year of release is throwing me. Surely people weren't hard rocking in the mid-80s, right? In any case, I'm locking in hard rock for my prediction. Yup. Hard rock, though I'm ashamed I didn't predict the synth aspect of this music. I liked some of the guitar performances and appreciated the short duration, though aside from that this music is, once again, not for me. I could get into one or two of the songs here, though the rest of the album kind of blends together. Ahhh, fuaaaaark. I've listened to "Jump" before. Good song. Very of-the-time, though those synths manage to hold up in retrospect. They still sound pretty futuristic thanks to the polished sound. The chorus is very good, obviously, though the bridges which lead into the chorus are my favourite parts of the song. Those vocals and rough guitars are pretty great. Book time. "revolutionary in its sound". Metal and electronic was a novel combination at the time. Sold very well. I know Van Halen are an iconic band and I can understand how this album was ahead of the curb, so I can let this one through. I cosign this inclusion.

The duality of man. 2/5

2,5

Waaayy too much testosterone. But hey, the spirit lives on since the teacher was way waaaayyy too hot. Right Eddie...?!?

Album 1 Top 3 faves off the album: Hot For Teacher, Top Jimmy, I'll Wait I'm going to try reviewing albums in a way I don't usually do; that is, by yapping about them to the best of my ability. Maybe by the end of this, I'll have something to say! Van Halen has always been a household name for me, but I haven't gotten around to listening to them in-depth until now. The pacing of this album was well done, stepping off the gas pedal between some of the most driving tunes without losing the energy at the heart of it all. I wish I had something insightful to say about the drumming and guitar, but everything has been said already. They're phenomenal. Lyrically, I think this one falls on the lower end of middle ground. As far as this project goes, I currently have nothing to compare it to. As an avid music listener in general, though, I've heard far worse, *and* far better. Time will really tell where this one falls in the total ranking, but I doubt it's going to be above the midpoint. Overall, this was a solid start to the journey, and an enjoyable listening experience!

I looked up to see if there was a known connection between this album and the book by George Orwell. There is not. Jump is a banger tho.

4/10 Best songs: Panama, I'll Wait Exactly what I expected from an '80s rock album: lots of sex, huge numbers of guitar riffs, and overly long tracks. Not my type of music. How would I fix it? Shorten each song, drop a guitar riff or two, and be more interesting.

Impressed by the energy on display but does every song need a guitar solo? Yes, because it the 80’s. Jump is forever a party song classic, Hot for Teacher is horrendous and the rest is middling.

Sigh, no thank you

62

I don't know I didn't like it

Iconic opening, but rest didn’t really stand out for me unfortunately

Far too samey for my taste. A couple of good tracks, but not an album I would come back to.

some good tracks but not exciting as a whole

Juvenile hair metal. "Hot for teacher"? Really? C'mon.

girl gone bad is tea

Track 1: Great - he's found the synthesiser! This is going to be fun. Track 2: Jump - driven by the synth. Awesome. The guitar solo actually fits the music even. Track 3 - 6: Where's the synth gone? Did they hide it from him and force him to play those stupid solos with too many notes? Track 7: It's baack. I'll Wait. This is a good tune. Tracks 8-9. Boooo. Is a good album gone bad.

Better than its contemporaries as it seems a lot less sleazy and a bit more fun. Still not my bag and not exactly complex, but better than others.

Upon seeing that Van Halen's 1984 was my listening assignment for today, I came to a sudden realization that the names of a lot of the "classic rock" bands from the '70s & '80s have the same exact cadence... Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, Van Halen. This might seem like a completely inconsequential thing, but I honestly think it might be one of the reasons I struggled to get into this era of rock for so long – I couldn't keep the artist names straight in my head and therefore couldn't remember which acts were making music I actually liked. Anyway, 1984 was alright. I liked the album a little bit more than Def Leppard's Hysteria and appreciated that it was only about half the length. "Jump" has that iconic keyboard riff, which (despite it not offering up much else) made it a highlight of the album for me. "Hot for Teacher" is unfortunately one of the better cuts on the LP – the lyrics have aged like milk, but it's one of the more technically impressive songs I've heard from this era. I also found myself nodding along to "Girl Gone Bad," which surprisingly seems to have been streamed quite a bit less than most of the other tracks. I feel a little bad giving this album two stars considering some of the company it'll be among, but it's just not quite as interesting/memorable as a lot of the albums I've given threes to and I'd be more annoyed than not if someone subjected me to it from front to back. Again, I just don't think hair metal is my cup of tea – these albums are likely going to continue getting low scores from me until I hear something that truly breaks the mold. Highlights: Jump, Hot for Teacher, Girl Gone Bad

Maybe best saved for memes and movie soundtracks

Jump is fun, Hot for Teacher is horny, but ultimately the entire album was just meh for me.

Classic Rock and I and I dont see eye to eye, and when it is this cheesy big hair "Metal" masquerading as pop our paths diverge even further. I audibly groaned when I saw jump, which worked when I was an impressionable 10 year old but now just sounded cheap. I respect that Eddy Van Halen is an accomplished guitarist, but I just don't like this type of generic rock riff guitar work. The one video that was being played the lyric went.."I know we're running a little hot tonight" and then they pulled out a hair dryer. Fuck me sideways. I knew this was not my thing when I saw a review that said "Hey PJ Harvey, this is how to make music that people want to hear". I want to hear PJ Harvey, not this. 2 stars

2+ Stars (6/15)

Sorry dudes, Eddie and Dave just aren’t for me. I tried. 2 solid listens. Felt nothing.

I didn't realise Van Halen was so poppy LOL. I'd only ever really listened to Hot for Teacher and assumed they were glam rock. I've heard Jump before and it's fine, and so are the rest of the songs. 2/5 stars.

i think this whole era of rock is absolutely horrid. the cover for this album is classic though ill give them that. standout track: hot for teacher

3/10

I think there was always a risk that I got into Val Halen. I never did though, and maybe it was for the best. This has some fun bits but it's not really *good* is it?

Há dois discos do Van Halen na lista, e este é o segundo que pego. O primeiro foi a estréia deles, e eu mencionei na review minha surpresa que a banda tinha sensibilidades para além do Rock Bunda, então eu até tinha algumas expectativas para este disco aqui. Minhas expectativas não foram alcançadas. Eu já conhecia metade das canções do álbum mesmo sem nunca ter o ouvido, então isso prova a influência e alcance das composições, mas ao todo, achei o disco representativo de tudo que desgosto do gênero de Rock Bunda. Por sorte, é um álbum curto, então não chega a ser completamente irritante. Tirando seus grandes hits, não há muita coisa notável aqui. Os hits são bons, mas são cansados, overplayed e bregas. Não vejo muito motivo para retornar a este álbum a não ser que você seja fã do grupo. 2/5

Meh. Maybe I'm too familiar with (read: sick of) the so-called hits from this album, but I really don't care about Van Halen. I don't hate them, but I don't like them. I'm indifferent. In some ways, isn't that worse than hatred? At least if I hate an album I feel something while listening to it. 2/5

Meh

Boring.

Don't think I've actually ever listened to this record in full which is funny. I remember having [Album4577] on CD as a kid, don't really know why. The standout tracks on this record (Jump, Panama, Hot For Teacher) are undeniable classics that I enjoy quite a bit, but I can't really imagine going back to the record in full ever again in my life. Still cool to finally listen to it though.

Ranges from insufferable to occasional fun. Jump and I'll Wait are truly horrendous tracks that deal physical damage to my ear canals. Girl Gone Bad and Hot for Teacher are more creative at the cost of being more explicitly sexist. It never really comes together, but there's some bombastic guitar work as a flashy distraction. 2/5

This album is just fun and gets ya goin...the first 3 songs. And then it gets old and slimy.

The kindest way to describe 1984 is a bit of a shit sandwich. Jump is excellent, Panama follows it well, but then we get an assortment of strange and sleazy songs in the middle that give me the cringe. I'll Wait is a similar but poorer version of Jump, and the 2 songs at the end are passable. After the opening tunes. I expected better.

Too much cocaine in the 80’s

Okay album, a little plain imo

Couple recognizable songs here I’ve never really liked. Kinda went for I’ll Wait but otherwise the synth rock just isn’t really my thing

so quintessentially 80s in all the ways i dislike most about the era; glossy synths, macho posturing, and overblown guitar work. no substance, just feels like white american redneck music. 2/5

The 80s wasn’t kind to guitar music

This album will probably transport you to an American High School in the 1980's. So if you want that, great, give it a listen. If not, then don't. Amazing guitar work, but if you don't enjoy twiddly virtuoso runs of musical notes up and down a guitar then you will hate it. I can't really relate to songs about wanting sex with your teacher. My teachers were all 65 with perms and cardigans. Not for me thanks.

Unsure how this made the cut. Fine but hardly ground breaking

Oh, what a marvelous miss. Horrible synth pop with shredder solos? Hard pass. However, if aliens came to earth and asked “what is rock music?”, Van Halen might make the list.

Bland, generic 80s American ‘rock’.

I think the 80s were a weird decade for rock, certainly not my favorite. On the positive side, some real good guitar playing, and Jump is a classic rock song from my childhood.

sfiggy rock

Eh pá, meio canseira….

Couple of well known tunes

A little too instrumental for my taste. Absolutely loved hearing Jump though

Hot for Teacher and House of Pain are cool songs. The rest seems like a generic 80s rock to me.

It was okay. Lots of hits, but not my taste. Have to give Eddie credit for his guitar work though.

Short, but not very enjoyable.

I can see why guitarists like it. But the synth and drums just turn me right off ... Gives it that 80s hair metal vibe that I am just not about.

meh

Fun Halen oder leider doch nöd so fun halen. Ja mir kennt ihn weg em max party lied, aber süsch muss mir ihn au nöd kenne, hani gmerkt :0 Tendiere grad zum ne 2. isch das gemein will de eini song ja scho e ihstieg in elektronischi musik vlt für villi ermöglicht hed und au sehr früeh dropt isch. Aber de rest isch doch gugus? 1, 9, 8, 4 ehe nei 2 sternlis mr van

This album contains some nostalgia. It features their 2 most famous hits, and I basically had never really listened to anything else of theirs. There is some technical wizardry, I guess. But it's very one-dimensional, and there's no depth in the lyrics or tone. 2/5

If you like American style heavy metal, arena rock then this is for you. Not being an enthusiast I thought it was ok. Favourite tracks were Drop Dead Legs and Hot for the Teacher (but I'm not sure if that is PC anymore)

Rating: 2.2 How can an album with Jump, Panama and Hot for Teacher get such a low rating? Well I’m pretty sure I heard all of those songs in every 80’s nostalgia bait movie I’ve ever watched and the rest of the songs will put you to sleep better than a lullaby on cough syrup.

Preferred the other Van Halen we had, but gave that a 2... So another 2.

Got it bad. So bad.

encapsulates early '80's to a T.

Jump is a decent pop song, but otherwise this record was quite mediocre 80's hard rock

Few good tracks and others empty stuff with 80s sounds. Next week I wont remember much about this album.

Van Halen was never in my rotation, I think they edge too close to the technical side of hard rock for my liking. One can't deny Eddie VH's skills as a player, but guitar heroes are just not my thing. Lots of familiar songs. None of the unfamiliar songs grabbed my interest, but few of the hit songs are cool tracks.

Well, this is going to be a tough listen Really not my thing Jump is great.

Maybe this has aged but it wasn’t for me.

Not bad for hair metal. Stupid childish lyrics but the addition of synths makes the music interesting.

favs: - jump - drop dead legs

Ahh fine. Not really for me. I think I’m just getting a bit tired of 80s rock? Like it’s still fun but I’m just kind of over it in general lately. The artwork is creepy too!

There was a really sick guitar solo in the second or third song, but other than that, what a waste of good Saturday morning cleaning music time.

Not quite my style, but some good songs

“jump” is a hit, not really something i’d put on myself but enjoy when i hear it elsewhere. “house of pain” was great, it felt like the only “metal”, hard rock song on here. most of these songs aren’t really my thing lyrically, or sound wise tbh. it’s too much. 2/5

Van Halen was a band I tried to get into in middle school when I was learning guitar because Eddie was supposed to be a guitar god and all pre-teens learning guitar think they can grow up to be guitar gods too. Well, I quickly learned that the gimmicky 80s pop infused hard rock with all its soulless guitar shredding just wasn't for me. If you hadn't guessed, I went into this one with a pretty hard bias against Van Halen, but I tried to put that aside and honestly, I was fairly surprised. This wasn't nearly as gimmicky or soulless as I remembered. It was actually kind of a fun listen! That said, it does feel like music that only someone who is stuck in memories of their prime high school days in the 80s would listen to regularly.

On which the band tries synths and sounds like every other 80s rock except for the guitar, which is amazing but frequently shoehorned in, and Dave’s characteristic swagger, which is mainly incoherent. Their first record is ten million times better, but Jump and Panama are terrific and the rest? Not so much.

Overplayed not really that great after all these years. I don't think it aged well. Definitely not a go to album for Van Halen. Just Meh

Jump is sort of alright but only just. Rest is somewhere between uninterresting and annoying.

Most people will tell you that David Lee Roth leaving and Sammy Hagar replacing him is when Van Halen "lost it." That's not entirely true, 1984 is a huge drop off from VH's previous work. It's a mishmash of pop and rock with very little of the harder music they had been known for. I was in high school came out so nostalgia wants to score it higher but in actually listening to it again, it's just not that good.

1* extra for the hits. For the rest: lame lame lame

Can’t say I really cared for any of these songs, not memorable at all

Not my cup of tea

Haven’t I heard this already? It’s fine

You likely know two or three songs from this one even if you haven't heard it, but all three of those songs already have major flaws. "Jump" and "Panama" are both catchy but a little too simple, while "Hot For Teacher" is less a song and more a show of the band's instrumental prowess over some hastily written lyrics. I might like "I'll Wait" more than any of those songs, but all of it is pretty standard 80's hard rock fleshed out with some synths. A little more variety or better lyrics might save this a bit. As it is this is the same so-so formula repeated for pretty much every song.

Ciepłe kluchy

'Top Jimmy' made me think this would be a fairly good album, 'Drop Dead Legs' put a swift end to that. 'Panama' is excellent and easily the best song on this album. I'm not actually a big fan of 'Jump', maybe I just think it's too long or overplayed. 'Hot for Teacher' could have been good if it was about something that isn't so damn cringe for 27-30 year olds to write. I don't think I've ever been excited about a guitar solo and they often feel a little unnecessary. This album is primarily guitar solos.

I can only speculate that Eddie embraced synths in order to save his fingers from the constant onslaught of women and requested guitar solos. Roth was adamantly against it and I would have to agree, except that Jump is more famous and recognizable than any of Eddie's riffs. Rich and famous has a price, and the price this time was being cemented into history as just another group known for Redneck anthems. Hope they didn't spend it all. 4/10

Van Halen can fucking play but outside of the hits, I didn't get a lot out of this. 80's hair metal isn't really my thing anyways. 4/10

Generic 80s album, for me personally. Nothing special.

Man, I think this is the first one where I've gone 'just not for me this'. Jump and Panama are listenable but there's not a single tune elsewhere I'd go back to. Best song: Jump

I'm soooo tired of hearing "Jump," especially since it's not a very strong song. Maybe it's 80's hair metal bands that I'm tired of - the attitude, the excess, the indulgence and the misogyny. Whatever the case, this sucks rocks.

So much talent for such little payoff. I guess I had to be there

Hairspray, stale cigarettes, and cocaine. I recognize EVH as one of the greatest guitarists of all time but I just can't stomach David Lee Roth. I'll Wait is my favorite song on the album - figures it's the one where they aren't as bombastic.

it was fine, but i was bored the whole time.

Особенно не впечатлило.

middle aged american republican driving a pickup truck. solid 2 cuz it is enjoyable

Encapsulates that sound synonymous with the 80s. Lots to like here. Some great tracks for road trips.

Brings you directly back to the 80s with the synthesizer and the album cover, classic.

Not a fan, especially of the David Lee Roth era. I can appreciate Eddie’s talent, but that’s about it. I always disliked their drum sound. Way too sexist and way too juvenile. Disliked them back then and still do.

I have mixed feelings with this album because I love the instruments but I can't stand the lyrics or voice! I also hate Jump because my old gym teacher used to play it at the end of every single class. I didn't know Van Halen was behind it.

Both stars are for 'Jump'. If anyone's in doubt that the rest of this album is embarrassingly juvenile parp there's a track speculating about what the new teacher will look like to set your expectation correctly.

Pretty mid nothing crazy 2/5

I always loved Jump but never got into Van Halen. This album didn’t help me This is the first album I found a slog to listen to. “I’ll wait” and “Jump” are good. The rest are forgettable except “Top Jimmy” which is just bad. This is the epitome of Dad Rock. Something that they will tell their kids is amazing but really, only white men in their late 50s or 60s like. I’m not sure if I should give it a 1 star or a 2 star for “Jump” alone

Heard jump and Panama and hot for teacher a bunch growing up in the 80s and 90s, hard to hear them with fresh ears. Album is ok but just not connecting with me, not enough depth for my taste. If I was a high schooler in the 80s I am sure this would hit different for me

IT's a bad album but it feels like the best album of all time

This felt surprisingly mediocre to me. I knew the big hits off it (Jump, Panama, Hot for Teacher), but everything else was very unremarkable. I can’t imagine this being an album I’d listen to again.

Good guitar work however I've just never been a fan of the vocals from Van Halen or majority of their hair metal contemporaries. Probably the most annoying genre of seppo music.

Wow... this was a disappointment. I've been surrounded by the music Van Halen for decades now. I know the singles. I know the history. But I never checked out a record. Not for any particular reason, it was just a blindspot in my listening. Teenage me fucked up when digging into classic rock bands I guess. Sooo I was excited when this album came up. I know the singles. I love Eruption. I love Hot For Teacher. I love Jump. I tolerate Panama. I figured they'd have at least one good album in them. But holy shit, I was wrong. Outside of the 3 big songs and that cool synth intro, this album fucking sucks... and it really feels like it's Eddie Van Halen's fault. He is the best and worst part of this album. When the riffs and the synths hit, they are amazing... iconic even. But when they're bad, they're "inspire multiple generations of dickhead guitar wanker-y" bad. "Top Jimmy" is trash. Those harmonics, that ugly, overcomplicated riff. Why Eddie? Why? And why did so many shit guitarists rip this off? It's hideous. "i'll wait" is a boring, cheesy synth ballad that I had never heard before despite it being the second single to this album. I guess it was lost to time and i'm not mad about that. This is the only Van Halen ballad I've ever heard, and it really doesn't work. Maybe this one's Roth's fault... his charm doesn't work here. O, and it has a big cheesy guitar solo, that also sucks... so Eddie is not off the hook on this one. The other 3 tracks just have garburator solos and ugly guitar riffs that would soon become hard rock cliches. I just can't. I didn't know so much bad rock music was Eddie's fault. That rat bastard... RIP. It's only a 30 minute album, but it felt sooo long. Maybe you have to be a 15 year old boy hearing this before the fall of the Berlin wall to understand it? I guess I'll never know. Some positives.... 1984 - this is some nice, tasteful, epic 80s synth Jump - It's a fuckin' hard rock pop banger. Love it. Love the synth. Big fan. Hot For Teacher - The best Van Halen song of all time in my opinion. THE DRUMS... the drums alone are fucking iconic... they have this almost big band, rolling vibe. The guitar riff is incredible... that opening solo is just... chefs kiss. David Lee Roth is just being charismatic and horny as hell and it's great. A horny sex anthem written by a 30 year old for teenagers shouldn't work, but weirdly it does. Panama - i tolerate. It's better than the rest of the album and i get that it's a good song... but I don't like it. It's overrated. I remember vividly when I was a teenager, my uncle asked me if I liked Van Halen... and I said I don't get Panama... it's not good. And he said.... someday, when you're an adult, you'll go to a strip club and you'll see a beautiful lady dance to Panama and take off her clothes... only then will you understand that song. As far as i know, I haven't seen someone strip to Panama yet, so it's still lost on me. I really hope no one is stripping to the deep cuts on this album. I don't even think nudity could save those songs.

Okay - not really my style

It’s really just 2.5 good songs and the rest filled with “girls girls girls” rubbish and some decent guitar playing. 4/10

best thing you can say about this is that it's very short

Represents an era but I don’t love it. Eddie can rip on the guitar but with limited exceptions the lyrics and songs are largely forgettable.

not my thing

interesting that everyone is pretty much giving this a 1 or a 5 i don't really have an opinion it's just okay dad rock

At its core, the album remains American soft-rock, as the Spinal-Tapesque 'Hot for Teacher' demonstrates. Dave Lee Roth is your classic 80s cock rocker, and cringe-inducingly creepy ("Reach down between my leg and ease the seat back"). Never do the lyrics have anything of significance or importance to say. The title track, which opens the album, sounds like when Maggie Philbin used to get some amateur electronics 'scientist' in the Tomorrow's World studio to demonstrate the future sound of music via a home-manufactured computer. VH spends most of his time sweep-picking or tapping his way at the speed of light around the entirety of the fretboard. Yes technically impressive but George Harrison'd be spinning in his grave if he wasn't dead. 'Jump' takes its rightful place as an 80s soft classic. But an album that's all sizzle and no steak.

It's a very American album, not really the sort of thing I would have listened to in my youth (when it first came out) or since. The only track I knew before listening was Jump, which is an excellent track. I was a bit disappointed by the rest of the album though. Perhaps I need to buy myself a gun and shoot a few schools up to fully appreciate it.

Eh this wasn't for me

Panama and I'll wait are alright The rest is rather meh imo And even though I like masturbatory guitar solos, it doesn't really catch me here

I’m sure this ripped back in the day, and Jump in particular must’ve sounded so fresh and exciting. But wasn’t really for me. Don’t really like his voice. Some of the frantic guitar shredding is cool, but generally came across a bit bland and repetitive (though I’m sure this would improve significantly played LOUD on a proper stereo and not my dinky headphones!) Dad & Dust - Unsure

#ВидатнийАльбомЩодня Van Halen - 1984 (1984) Я обожнюю однойменний дебютний альбом Van Halen. Не дивлячись на те, що він вийшов у 78-у році, він досі є для мене одним із найулюбленіших «гітарних» альбомів. Едді Ван Галлен, безумовно є майстром своєї справи, справжній віртуоз, що виклався на повну на дебютному альбомі, створивши одну з “найдрайвовіших рок-н-рольних” речей за увесь час. Потім були трохи слабші та більш металеві Van Halen II, Women and Children First та Fair Warning, які можливо і не були настільки «вибуховими» як перший альбом, але все ж мали той самий несамовитий драйв. На 1984 це змінилось. Так, альбом як і раніше являє собою бадьорий hard rock, але із великим впливом, популярної на той час, синтезаторної попмузики. Завдяки цьому він і досяг величезної популярності. Проте, чи була така зміна потрібна гурту в той момент? Чисто з погляду просування - безумовно розумний крок, але в довгостроковій перспективі, він не відчувається чимось видатним - типовий клішований хард/попрок, позбавлений майже всього шарму який до цього мав гурт. В ньому вже не відчувається тої енергії та емоцій - все максимально рівно, обережно та «модно». Більшість альбому відчувається пустою та безідейною, а тексти перетворилися з «веселої вечірки»на відвертий крінж. Тож у гонитві за трендом, гурт втратив своє обличчя, сліпо намагаючись слідувати за трендами без творчого переосмислення. У висновку - маємо доволі посередній альбом, що хоч часом і непогано звучить, але натомість дуже погано проходить перевірку часом.

Nothing super memorable or interesting

I can’t be objective about this one either. It’s not really Van Halen’s fault.

My feelings about Van Halen are like those about other 80s hard rock/hair metal bands. I'm sure listening to them live would be exciting, but the music doesn't mean anything to me as someone listening recreationally. You could replace one of the songs on 1984 with a Bon Jovi tune, and I probably wouldn't even notice. The one thing I found interesting on the album was the intro to Top Jimmy, which started out with a great instrumental hook that grabbed my attention. I was excited to finally hear something different, but it just ended up disappointing. The rest of the song didn't live up to it and turned out to be like every other song on the album.

Has jump but I don't really like van Halen

Dated and uninspiring. Most songs go nowhere except a Van Halen guitar solo, which, on paper is enjoyable, I found predictable and dull. The integration of synths are shaky at best - 'Jump' is decent enough, but the songwriting is so lacking - really hanging it's hat on the guitar. Best Tracks: - Drop Dead Legs Worst Tracks: - Top Jimmy - I'll Wait Rating: 3/10

What an awful album cover. The music itself doesn’t redeem it.

40 minutes have passed but...I'm sure I've only listened to Jump.

Big and dumb. Jump is decent, that's about it.

Sounds exactly like something a Trump-voting redneck would put on before going to bed with his wife, only to finish just before getting to "Jump".

Scrappy writing and playing, a couple of classics, but...

Thank you for adding me to this group but when I saw this was the first album I thought to myself, 'fuck,'.

Definitely better than the GNR cock rock, mostly for Eddie Van Halen's guitar wizardry and the group's maximalist style that fused a lot of the burgeouning pop and rock styles of the time - synths, riffs, big hair. But similar to GNR, lack of substance.

This is more pop and less rock than I expected. It was actually better than Guns N Roses. Maybe it's being forced to hear these 80s pop songs on soundtracks, in grocery stores, and in commercials my whole life, but I find the sound of this album so tired. It's not 1/5 bad, it's probably 2.5 rounded down bad.

Plain, boring old guys rock. 'Jump' is a classic. Always fun to hear. Makes me nostalgic.

I can appreciate that this was probably received much diferently at the time, but it feels cheesy and tired. Just not my thing

I listened to this half an hour ago and I can barely remember a thing about it. Sorry. I just remember a lot of really whiney leads, and when "Don't Fear the Reaper" came on shuffle after the album finished and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Un nuevo lunes para éste reto y vuelve a tocarnos Van Halen, banda que como dije anteriormente me es en cierta manera indiferente, más allá de su importancia histórica. El disco tiene canciones harto escuchadas en series y películas y lo siento como para amenizar una reunión o para un gimnasio, tal vez. Hasta mañana.

Good band. Dumb songs. Great guitarist. The singer is a ham (good). The synths are tacked on, you can hear the bargaining between Eddie and the rest of the group.

If not for Jump, this would be kind of a dud, and even then Jump is a little too long. Drop Dead Legs kind of decent tho.

Mediocre at best. Actively hate Jump.

Oh, yeah. Van Halen. They were a thing, I guess. Specifically, they were one of the indistinguishable "hair metal" bands that ruined the labels "metal" and "hard rock" for years to come, and I will hold that against them. They seemed to rebel against "not needing a ton of hair product" and "not wanting to sleep with everyone, including underpaid educators who are just trying to teach." This album, specifically? "Jump" was the single, and I hate that song.

I know this album and I’ve heard the hits many times. I have no reason to doubt it was influential but to me it just sounds dated.

Did nothing for me. There's was some promise in the 70s but I've no time for the 80s version

Worst drummer ever! His fills have a lameness that reminds me of 1976: that's when I realised I would never be a drummer. I could keep the beat but that was it. How do you rate an album with that starts with two scorchers that then drops the ball completely. Every other song just sounds boring or wrong. Girl Gone Bad has a decent groove but then it has all these awkward changes that don't work. I've always had my doubts about EVH - he can play but a lot of his stuff is repetitive, derivative, jarring, or a combination of that. He needed to be in a band with a strong leader to tell him when to stop. House of Pain is aptly named. Yes... we know you have chops, please stop. Oh God, here's that primary school drummer again (that's elementary for you in the US). Huge let down

I’m not ordinarily a fan of 80’s glam rock. The synthesiser should not belong in a rock song, I’m sorry. Some people manage to pull it off but most don’t. That being said, I think some people are overly dramatic about this album. Van Halen is dad rock at its finest and I thought it was listenable with some enjoyable tracks. It’s energized, fast-paced and loud; everything you’d expect from a standard rock album but sometimes, that’s to its detriment. It’s standard and bland. So, whilst I wasn’t totally against it, I also didn’t love it. Its a middle of the road, basic 80’s glam hair rock, nothing special for the time. Of course, the song Jump is featured and is great but the other tracks were somewhat forgettable. Apart from Hot for Teacher, for nefarious reasons. A song about borderline statutory rape? Must be the 80’s! The guy who just reviewed this album with “fuck off” was funny, though.

This really wasn't it for me. Jump's pretty good.

Not for me

Couple of fun moments but deeply bland

After Jump, which is actually an enjoyable song it all went downhill from there

Zaskakujaco wciagajace, choc dziecinne

Just ok

It just sounds so corny. I laughed out loud at one point and then felt bad.

Was not sure if this was hard rock or synth pop depending on the song

Unpopular opinion: I dislike the song “Jump”.. could of ok songs in there.. would give it a 5 if I could

Macho music for bullies and jocks

Doesn’t feel inspired to me. Evoked nothing. It’s the type of classic rock I dislike amped up.

Sure there's some good guitar. I just don't care for big hair '80s rock

Pananahthankman 3/10

There is nothing interesting about this to me 😭 I’ll give it 2 because I didn’t hate listening to it.

Too 80s hard rock for me. I can appreciate the mastery at the guitar and drums but…

Great guitarist but I never want to hear any of these songs again, possible exception for I'll wait which I wouldn't change the station on 3/5 if I could've stripped out the vocals

Radio music. Extra star for some fun gimmicky guitar solos.

certainly 80s

His virtuosity aside, I can’t get into this - when it’s quietest, I’m happiest, like at the beginning of ‘Top Jimmy’ or ‘Drop Dead Legs.’ When it’s off, when it’s over, I’m really most pleased. I don’t mind dumb, or even fake, but a dud ‘tis, especially the squandering of ‘Hot for Teacher’ and ‘Girl Gone Bad.’ By the time ‘Jump’ (the best song, by far) starts soloing, there’s nothing left that I can remotely enjoy, it’s all so thin and, like so much hard rock, so soft. If he shreds, well, I can do w/o that verb.

Giga kitsch avec quelques trucs pas si pire

I sighed when this popped up as today's #1001albums, but I was also a little hopeful. Was this listen-through going to redeem Van Halen the way yesterday's assignment fixed my appreciation for Talking Heads? No. Sorry, I'm just not crazy about rock for jocks to do coke and air guitar along with, specifically with these kind of lyrics and vocals. There's some incredible musicianship going on here. And if it could be nothing but technical breakdowns all the way through maybe I'd be more into it (drum break from Chorus to Verse and everything that isn't singing in Girl Gone Bad had me nodding along)..then again I'm not really a math rock guy either* so maybe there's no pleasing me with this kind of band. *Technical speed metal excluded

Imagine having all of that Vam Halen talent, being in your 30s, and making a song about horny teens sexualizing their teachers. Many great tunes, but, ya know, yuck.

Very much a 80s hair band album. Some classic tracks on here, especially jump and hot for teacher. My favorite is panama. Overall not my taste but I can see how others would love it.

I can't ever decide if I like Van Halen or not. Their first album was great, I do like that one a lot. Everything after that is kind of just more of the same. I mean they are all great at their respective instruments and you can deny Eddie Van Halen's impact on guitar playing. But I tire quickly of the 80s hair band stuff. It has very little variance from one band to the next and it's not something I would ever really listen to by choice. And David Lee Roth just seems like he'd be a gross guy to know in real life. I suppose I have to rate this album in isolation, and it's fine. It's exactly what you would expect a Van Halen record to be even if you had never heard Van Halen before. That's sort of disappointing in a lot of ways. But you can't really rate something like this without regard to the rest of their albums. It's pretty much the same album. I feel like the first Van Halen album would have been plenty for this list. 2.5/5 but will round down to because even though Eddie Van Halen was an unbelievable guitar player, this specific album just kind of washed over me and I was ready to move on before it was over.

Classic, cliched 80's rock. I can smell the hairspray from here. Jump is OK, but apart from that it's pretty generic. 2/5

pour teenagers (comme moi à l'époque)...

The cover artwork for Van Halen's 1984 album is undoubtedly striking but ultimately misses the mark in terms of artistic coherence. While the rebellious imagery attempts to juxtapose innocence with vice, it feels more like a gimmick than a meaningful statement. The choice of a child-like figure engaged in such adult behavior raises eyebrows and seems out of place, detracting from any potential depth the artwork might have had. Overall, while memorable, the artwork does not resonate as deeply as it could, earning it a mere two stars. Album artworks rated: 2/1001 Music's great tho.

Well, I listened to the whole thing, so it would therefore rank higher than a 1. If I never hear “Jump” again, I’ll be happy. “Hot for Teacher” will always have a special place in my heart, and “Panama” is a silly classic. A lot of filler-“I’ll Wait” is a great contender for a Weird Al parody (it already sounds like one). This is what I thought Van Halen was, so wrote them off (until I learn their first album, which changed my mind). Thankfully this album is short, so I could listen to other stuff. Very 80s, very white, very silly.

ну хз мне просто не нравится…

eh

Already knew several of these songs. It’s very guitar heavy which I don’t love. I sort of like hot for teacher and Panama, and really like jump but not really a fan of any of the others.

basic-sounding rock, boring enough. Jump is great though. Just not a big fan of this era/pop rock

I do not like Van Halen. Never have.

this should have been Jump repeated 8 times.

Jump is still a tune, so is Panama, but the rest is pretty MOR and forgettable.

Not for me.

Vale, tiene dos exitazos en Jump y Panama, pero resto palidece y agota rápidamente.

Sounds like the soundtrack of a film that became dated the minute it dropped.

I’m convinced whoever coined the term MOR rock must have been listening to this album at the time.

Cock rock, meets the 80s and synthesisers - what could possibly go wrong? Pretty much everything! I like the album cover though.

Interesting guitars at times, cool synths, pretty fun

I enjoyed the album but it is not something i would personally listen to in my free time. fav songs were jump and hot for teacher. i think this music is something i could dance to but it doesn’t connect with me enough to listen to it again but i loved all the guitar riffs and naturalness to the music. it’s real rock and i appreciate that just not much depth to it which i enjoy in an album.

Ekki gott.

It’s just so simple or something. The songs never get interesting. Even if it is a style you enjoy I don’t really see these songs going anywhere but that’s probably my outside perspective. I can’t justify giving it higher.

1. 1984 - 1 2. jump - 1 3 panama - 2 4. jimmy - 1 5. legz - 1 6. teacher - 1.5 7. uuait - 1.5 8. bad - 1 9. pain - 1

Not a fan

I don't know if I've ever actually liked Van Halen, but I definitely have wanted to like them. They seem fun, EVH is obviously a great guitar player, certain songs are legit good, but in my heart I just don't like this band. David Lee Roth is too damn obnoxious. Through this listen I enjoyed "I'll Wait". Panama is good but i think ive just heard it too many times, also the chorus just being PA-NA-MA! struck me as dumb this time. May be too old for VH!

I prefer their debut over this one. I've never liked Jump (it's supposed to be hard rock, not synth "rock"), but Panama is a decent enough song. I like the catchiness of I'll Wait, in spite of the synths. You can hear that they are talented musicians, particularly on Hot for Teacher, but when the song is as bluesy and busy as it is, I can't enjoy it at all. The song quality is more important than talent. Drop Dead Legs is horrible, Girl Gone Bad is horrible, House of Pain is boring.

Bastante más popo/ochentoso de lo que conocía de Van Halen. Re mediopé.

I mean jump is obviously a classic I was disappointed this was the artist but then realized I actually kinda like it lol I always thought “Panama” was “cannonball” I take it back, the first couple songs were good but this is too much electric guitar for me and I’m not a fan

Boring album. Even the two hit songs are boring now. Overplayed. Not for me

Exactly what you’d expect.

I do have time for some acts like this, the over the top kinda glam rock type thing, but not Van Halen.... In their defense I had never listened to an album before this, but it is what I expected. Recognised "jump" and "Panama" but not a particular fan of either of these. "Hot for teacher" is just crap. It's all just a bit cringey I think. 2.5

i just don’t know how else to say like i just don’t like this very much like i just don’t think it’s made for me and i found it honestly really boring to listen to i’m sorry it’s just like lame sorry van halen

Popular songs are pretty good Rest is too solo-y

Knew most of the songs. I get why some people like it but just not for me!

2583 - Production is good, so is the drumming, but the vocals and song writing are not particularly invigorating.

Good drums but really jerky guitars and terrible writing 4.8

4/10 Ovaj hard/glam rock mi zna biti nekad zanimljiv, ali ne kod Van Halena. Jump mi je usla u uho kad sam na kraju osnovne otkrio osamdesete, pa se stvar naravno nasla na vecini kompilacija. Danas mi nije bas najdraza - jedna je od onih na koju najcesce okrenem ocima kad ju cujem vani, ali razumijem zasto je bila hit. Osim nje, ostatak albuma mi je zesce dosadan, jedino moram priznat da mi se malo pred kraj popravio dojam sa I'll Wait i House Of Pain. Biram Kiss bilo kad prije ovog Van Halena, cak mi nije ni za usporedbu iako su zanrovski dosta bliski. Sjecam se da sam davno citao hvalospijeve o ovom bendu, ali mislim da nisam ciljana publika. Ne znam, danas nije bio los dan pa cu mu dati cetvorku, iako je bila u planu i niza ocjena.

Yeah its just not great

pretty dull album but Jump is a bop 2/5

Fine but not that good

Not my kind of music. I can see how it was the sound of the mid 80s though. Very big hair, big guitar, big music. Probably wont listen again.

Some of the best instrumentalists of their time come together to create the most boring album possible

Not in the mood for this

This album isn’t great, despite some of the songs on it being great. Feels like a late stage greatest hits with some unnecessary filler in it honestly. Panama fucking rules though.

Eh, very 1980’s

It's just hard for me to muster the slightest respect for hair bands. Technically this is good, but I just get no joy out of it.

Wow! This rocks!

Jump, Panama

Итс окэй. Лучше, чем я ожидал. Это все равно чуть слишком, по-моему, по всем АОР/хард рок 80ых фронтам, и вот это техничное дрочилово - это вот вишенка на торте. Лучшая песня - I’ll Wait.

Kuluneita klassikkoja ja muuta ei-itseäni-innostavaa.

Jump was good

The guy could surely play the guitar, they discovered a synthesizer can make some music, and they wrote a huge hit. The rest is very dated and overhyped hard rock with the worst of its tropes.

Some classic stadium songs. Not an album I’d listen to in it’s entirety front to back

Big time stupid

The kings of trash rock. What a detectable genere and style of music. Does every song need an Oohhhh! and a Whooo!? Low IQ. But high musicianship, but atrocious lyri

I’m glad it was short! I did enjoy Jump.

In describing the Cure as too 80s I have invoked the curse. These synths were just lying in wait. I suppose there's some credit due for the innovation in making wild guitar noises. The most musical sportsguitar is still sportsguitar. I've heard some isolated David Lee Roth vocals that are completely unhinged, and that is Interesting. You can't tell in the actual songs though. Got no time for this stuff. It's silly & not in an entertaining way. music: hated. (⌐■_■)

Of course EVH shreds. But the experience of listening to a Van Halen album is not great. I do have one big positive here: Hot For Teacher imagines a world where beavis and butthead type characters are hot for teacher… and teacher is hot for them back. That’s pretty funny, and worth an extra star alone.

nothing salvageable about this really

Not my favourite genre, but a good example of pop rock. The guitar and synths used for Jump are well ahead of their time. But other than Jump and Panama I personally find most of it fairly forgettable.

I like the synths

Not a big fan of this music

too 80

Cliche

Jump is not junk, but most of the rest of the album is.

Great title - What a year! I like the playfulness of the cover art, and it was interesting the read about. Margo Nahas apparently declined to draw four 'chrome women' dancing and instead painted a putto stealing cigarettes - go Margo! First up I'm not a fan of Hair Metal in general. I can appreciate Eddie Van Halen is seen as an incredible guitarist of this genre, but its just noise to me! Too much crash symbol, too many dive bombs and creepy dude lyrics.

Had high hopes, after first two absolute bangers the album goes downhill. Very repetitive in my eyes :(

meh

I can‘t hear it anymore…typical 80‘s Hard Rock…4/10