Arrival

Just out at the airstrip with my Swedish pop group. I won a contest so they have to hang out with me and sit in my weird helicopter. That is at least what this cover looks like. No smiles, all business. I am really dreading this, I have to say. Well. Start your engines and set course for post-disco and may our journey be guided by the steady hand of reason. When I Kissed The Teacher - Right off the bat, the worst song title in human history. That accent is HEAVY. Yeah I mean I bet the teacher is petrified because he’s going to lose his job after being accosted by a Swedish high schooler. I can’t let you get close. Take a swing. Eh. Listen. Besides the boneheaded lyrical content, this is a nice song. Pretty nice soundscape and melody. Dancing Queen - Do we really include entire albums for singles? I don’t mean albums for people who are alone. We covered that with “The Verve” and Radiohead. Well this is one of the most popular songs, seemingly ever. “You turn em on… you’re only 17.” Perfect. Hey! It was the 70’s. I do not enjoy this song. Moving on. My Love, My Life - All the words I try to find, I cannot seem to find a way to possess the elusive adjectives to properly describe this song. Ah! Like a bolt from the blue, there it is. I present to you “Meh.” Dum Dum Diddle - Jesus. The new heavyweight champ for dumbass lyrics. Sounding like a Japanese arcade to start and then the repetitive droning pop wears out its welcome pretty quickly. Knowing Me, Knowing You - Ugh. I’m so bored. What can I say about this? Money, Money, Money - What a devastating uhh critique? I can’t tell if this is a critique of rich people because it sure sounds like “jeez I just want to marry a rich guy.” Cutting edge feminism here from the Swedish songsters here That’s Me - More of the same pop music. This is endless. Why Did It Have to Be Me? - That’s what I’ve been asking! Finally, a point of relation here. I really would’ve been fine never hearing a full ABBA album. This is the worst song by far. Jingle Bell Rock played through an eastern bloc radio during a work lottery announcement. Death on wheels. Tiger - Holy hell, will this ever end? There are like 4 songs left. Nay, exactly 4. I wanted this to actually be about a tiger. Perhaps stalking the streets of Stockholm. Arrival - We are entering the atmosphere of KlagNar 27. Scanning for Swedish Pop Groups. Oh good. Nothing there. Proceed to land. I swore this place would be swarming with fair haired crooners. Thank god we can continue with our research mission. Jones, collect some samples. Jones? Why is there a blond hair on your spacesuit. Oh god, what’s that sound. I knew it!! Ripped apart to the tune of dancing queen in the far reaches of the cosmos. Fernando - The worst song so far. Is this about some fireworks display? For you, for me, for liberty? What the fuck is this? Happy Hawaii - No, it’s happy Birthday. Is it? Isn’t it borthday? So many questions. Gee I’m really glad we included this Kids Bop Beach boys song after 40 minutes. What a fantastic romp through mediocrity. The theatrics and the lyrics drag this to my own personal musical hell. I can’t say this is the worst music ever released and I can barely even say it’s cynically made. The performances feel like they believe in this garbage wholeheartedly. I just hate it. I can’t do it. There are some songs that I could see enjoying g if they changed the lyrics and presentation but that’s pretty much changing the whole song, and I can’t award points based on that. Truly difficult to get through in every way. I shall never return. Well, except every time somebody deems it necessary to play these songs in public places. One day we’ll be able to coexist without a dimwitted soundtrack. That’s my vision for humanity. 1 HIGHLIGHTS: Herregud, det här är verkligen ganska fjantigt?

oh boy

Saai

While I’m a fan of the Swedish Supergroup ABBA’s popular works, I’ve never listened to a whole album. Although my mom got this on 8 track for Christmas way back when, I don’t really remember listening to it. There’s a significant drop off in quality from the hits to the album tracks. Honestly it’s just filler dreck. Knowing Me, Knowing You is doing all the heavy lifting here. I tried Mom.

I actually had a vague awareness of Abba, And figured I might like them. I was very wrong.

What a hateful and irredeemable album.

Het doet wat pop hoort te doen, denk ik. Als het iets meer naar disco leunt dan kan ik er wel inkomen, maar gros van de nummers voelen als een 'Kinderen voor Kinderen'-fever dream, of als Sieneke, en ik word er ronduit zenuwachtig van. 4,5/10 Highlights: Dancing Queen Knowing Me, Knowing You

Disco more like dicksblow.

the only redeeming factor was knowing me knowing you made me think of alan partridge

Lyrics are so stupid and everything else is so schmultzy. It feels like the music is too full of itself despite the fact that it sucks. I have personal bias against this but I also just can't stand listening to such hot garbage. SHE'S NOT EVEN PRONOUNCING HAWAII RIGHT!

point9.

Not my style

😳

Sé que es un clásico, pero lo siento, no es mi estilo

I can't face listening to this.

I didn't like it when it came out. I don't like it now.

I absolutely hate this. 2.7/10

Dancing Queen est excellente. Le reste sonne comme Alain Morrisod et le Sweet People. Je crois pas que ce soit nécessaire de l’écouter, même une fois.

I challenged myself to sit through this whole thing, and while it's doing what ABBA set out to do much of it annoys me. "Money, Money, Money" is the only song I kinda liked, though it's tough to take it seriously given the band delivering it. They're competent musicians, it's just that none of this is my taste at all. I had to chase it with Black Flag's Damaged and the first 3 Stooges albums to scrape it back off my soul. Y'all can have them.

Terrible. Just shows that if this is the best of seventies pop how bad the rest was. Now I understand why all my middle class boring contemporaries on the Lower North Shore loved ABBA. Banal and corny.

I dont like dont recomend it give it 1 out 5 dont really have much to say i dont understand the lyircs. not my type of music would not listen to it. I also dont like old music so thats another reason why i dont like it .

Help

No, can't do it sorry. 1 Star

Get in the bin of history. I would pay good money to have an experience like that in the film Yesterday but instead of the Beatles it's Abba that no one in the world has any knowledge of. I'd just keep quiet and carry on as normal.

Listen, Sweden has given the world some truly wonderful things, IKEA, zippers, Bluetooth technology, and the king of automobiles the Volvo 240. Without the Swedes we never would have had Alfred Nobel! Unfortunately, I don’t believe anything they ever do will make up for unleashing ABBA upon this world. This album in particular is an uncomfortable mess of toxic positivity and far too many major chords. The melodies are grating and repetitive, the lyrics often vapid and meaningless. Fernando is the only song that doesn’t entirely suck. I genuinely needed a palate cleanser after this one, and it’s a good thing Graceland exists. I’d give this album 0 starts if I could.

I'm here to find new albums, not the ABBA album. Maybe I'm just narrow minded

did not puke

I knew I wouldn't like the pop sound of Abba. But I gave it a listen and, initially, I started to think, its not so bad. But the more I listened the more the nausea built up in my gut, to the point where it started to make me angry. Unless you are a juvenile, I see no redeeming qualities in this album. What qualifies this for the list? How many good and impactful albums with music for adults were passed over for this trash. You see, I'm getting angry just writting this. Sure you can listen to 1 or 2 catchy songs in a mix of others. But as an album, this is terrible. It sounds like a soundtrack for a Telletubbies movie or whatever toddlers are watching these days. Its only because the bar is so low for a 1 star that I give it 1.4

Proof positive that whites should NEVER be allowed to make "dance music". ZERO soul here. This is the music equivalent of unseasoned boiled pasta on a cold plate. Thank GOD someone introduced me to Nile Rodgers a few years ago. I had grown up thinking disco was just Abba and The Bee Gees. No wonder I hated it.

I am not proud of the fact that I hate ABBA. It's not some medal I wear with pride or an opinion I've purposefully selected in order to appear Edgy and Different and Cool. I would love to love ABBA - I feel like I'm missing out! This is all to say that I went into this album with an open mind. In fact, I actively wanted to enjoy it! And I actively did not. I say this was active regret and disappointment: I hated it so much. I do understand, of course, how people can enjoy this album. Or at least I'm very keen to try and understand how people can enjoy this album. I'm not going to be quite so arrogant as to say that it's objectively bad and everyone who disagrees is wrong. So I'll try and present this review in a way that clearly shows that this is just my personal, subjective opinion. [I personally think that] this album sounds like a spoof of itself. [I personally find myself asking:] how can anyone hear songs like Dum Dum Diddle or hear those blood-curdling whispers on Knowing Me, Knowing You and NOT think that it was created by a sketch comedy group with a very basic knowledge of music theory and a deep-rooted vendetta against Eurovision fans? It sound like a joke [to me personally]. Everyone talks about how happy and upbeat ABBA's music is but I cannot decipher any emotion whatsoever in any of it. It sounds [to me] like music made by a Martian trying to disguise themselves as a popstar - like Ziggy Stardust on a cocktail of sertraline, melatonin and Calpol. Every song sounds like it's going to end with the sound of the vocals slowing down and getting deeper in pitch as the band slowly power down and enter hibernation mode... in my opinion.

This album contains every cliche that exists. Is there anything real happening here? Or was this all produced to be clean, fake, and appealing? This shit is more artificial than Sunny D. This is the soundtrack of every sheltered white girl from the suburbs, and I hate it a little.

I wanted to like this album, going into it. I know some ABBA songs are adjacent to other easy-listening/soft-rock that I now enjoy from the 70's and 80's. However, while the first couple songs on this album weren't that bad, I felt it got worse and worse as it went on, and I couldn't wait for it to end. It was too much disco and hokey adult pop for me, unfortunately.

Kill me now, I can’t believe so many people bought this crap

Abba keeps annoying me on a special level only surpassed by how annoyed I get about this group being popular.

Never liked Abba. Genuinely never. Their best work is a single throwaway piano section at the end of Chiquitita; everything else is just annoying to listen to. One of the few albums/genres/bands that, despite not being as harsh to the ears as some other albums, still makes me way more annoyed when I am forced to listen to it, be it that they are on the speakers in a grocery store or elsewhere. Maybe it's just the last remaining piece of my childhood that I refuse to let go off, my rebellious youth of disliking the music my parents listened to. Either way, I do support them disbanding and refusing to reunite the group.

Can’t handle ABBA. They make me angry. But others like it, so I might give it a 2… no I can’t bring myself to do it. 1 it is then.

Would never buy an Abba album even if Bono covered them with U2. I know Dancing Queen, it’s the disco era. Another new sound for the times. Knowing Me Knowing you rings a bell. Fernando was another song on the radio. All in all this duel vocal approach by these two powerful woman is the strength of the approach, unfortunately I could never buy this or add any of it to a playlist.

I’ve never been a fan of ABBA (once considered breaking up with a girl after seeing ABBA’s greatest hits in her CD collection), but I also never listened to one of their albums, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I guess their big hits really are their best stuff.

Dancing Queen is a classic, but I've never liked ABBA and this album is no different. Just not my style at all.

I've never like Abba and this album won't change that. I know they are good song writers but they leave me cold.

There should be an exception to the "no greatest hits complications" rule in album rankings for ABBA. Not than any of their good songs were on this one...

I can't stand this group.

terrible

As a species, what the hell were we thinking? Ok, this stuff sort of comes out of 1950's/60's variety hour entertainment .... except the arrangements are boring and thin. Ok, maybe this was Eurovision before there was Eurovision? The sad part is we are now forever forced to look back and admit that we made this band important, we gave them hits and gold records ..... it's so embarrassing. 1.5 for the 2 songs with hooks .......

Overrated

Fuck ABBA

Horrendous

Terrible

KFC I hate ABBA

Making disco safe for straight, white people.

AH HAAAA. Apart from the Alan Partridge and wedding disco novelty value this album didn't do it for me.

Annoyed me

1.3.24

I just don't understand the appeal. Not for me.

Not my cup of tea. Those earworms from the Swedish to English dictionary started music down a bad path.

Just not into this at all. The singing is ok, at times, but the melodies are dull.

Deze stel ik al een paar dagen uit, maar ik ga me er toch even doorheen worstelen want ik wil er vanaf zijn. Ik ken dit album en ik weet precies waar voor mij het probleem zit. Even een handje disclaimers: Ik heb geen probleem met disco, ik heb geen probleem met veel van de nummers an sich, ik ben me niet aan het verzetten tegen de populariteit hiervan, ik ben niet te stoer om dit leuk te vinden, etc. Het is de mix die het voor mij ondraaglijk maakt. Zo vind ik "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" (van een ander album) wél een lekker nummer. Vergelijk de mix van dat nummer (let o.a. op de basgitaar, de basdrum, de wat zwaardere synths, maar ook de zang) maar eens met de mix van Dancing Queen. Gimme! is gemixt als een lekker warm disco-deken waar je gerust een avondje onder wil blijven zitten, maar Dancing Queen klinkt alsof het is opgenomen via twee lege knakworstblikken met een strakgespannen touwtje ertussen. Ik dacht altijd dat het aan slechte speakers in de horeca lag, maar die schelle kutmix ervaar ik nu op m'n goede headset ook en eigenlijk ook het hele album lang. Er is iets met de zanglijntjes, een galm en een phlanger effect in combinatie met een gebrek aan lage tonen wat ik echt als enorm onprettig ervaar. Het doet letterlijk zeer aan m'n oren. Dit is voor mij dus een té gedateerd, té schel album waar ik niet naar kan luisteren. Eén ster voor dit album; niet voor ABBA.

De dag die je wist dat zou komen. Au, mijn oren.

Man I really don't get the appeal of ABBA. I'm not hating on them cause I think it's "trendy" either. I genuinely don't understand why people love them. The most bland, vanilla pop music ever. Already overplayed on the radio. No I can't even escape them on social media either. TikTok and Instagram loves this shit.

i guess i don't like abba

No

Definitely dance music. Not something you listen to.

Not for me really. Never been a fan and shouldn't think I ever will be Well produced pop, fluffy, not too much else to say. All pretty samey apart from arrival. Didn't enjoy it, won't be back Cool looking helicopter though!

Not good. It's fucking ABBA

Physically painful. I’d rather throw acid on my eyes than to sit through another ABBA album.

Gotta respect their success, but not on my regular playlists

Not an Abba fan

Really?

This is a train wreck of myopic and insipid pop music with the notable exception of Dancing Queen. It's the first time I've listened to a complete ABBA album and it will be the last. I like a lot of disco-era dance music, but this is pretty terrible.

When I kissed the teacher is just.. weird. Dancing Queen.. let’s start the song with the chorus. Brilliant (really). Should be more bass in the mix though. Dum Dum Diddle is actually pretty catchy Money Money Money.. a bit too Broadway for me BUT is that an early sequencer I hear? Why Did It Have To Be Me… sounds nostalgic. And out of place. Tiger is disjointed. Arrival! The theme song! And... Celtic??? This was awful.

The part I most enjoyed was tuning out Dancing Queen (ugh) in order to contemplate how one might report evidence of a suspicious teacher student relationship from the 70s. (Thank you Jason for identifying Wikipedia as the answer, I had not thought of that). The second most enjoyable part was when I gave up hating on the synth bagpipes(?) in Arrival and just appreciated that they were totally committed to it and doing something that was not the same as the rest of an album that I could not finish fast enough.

What a fucking nightmare it was listening to that album! 1/10

Too spangley and samey, couldn't listen to it the whole way through.

nah, 1.5

Just awful.

insipid

ABBA fucking sucks. It's too bright. Fake 80's happiness. Feels like a group of high school theater kids on meth.

I heard this album WAY too many new as a young child and now hate every ABBA song. I tried to pretend I was listening to it for the first time, but I couldn't do it, didn't survive the first song.

It's really just not for me. And I just can't hear the quality in it. I must be missing something.

1 of my most disliked artists, even before I listened to this 1. There's, at most, 1 half decent song. Hard to believe they were 1 of the biggest bands in the world at this time - they are pish! Another 0 🌟 for me - even if the scoring doesn't allow it!

1 Ugh. I’m sorry, but I can’t stand ABBA. I know that’s an unpopular opinion, especially as of lately with their whole TikTok resurgence, but I just find their music so goddamn cheesy and boring, and this album didn’t do much to change that. When I Kissed the Teacher was an… unexpected open to the album, and I actually kind of liked how it started, but it lost me when it kicked in and the backing vocals jumped in. Dancing Queen is such an overrated and annoying song, though nowhere near as bad as Mamma Mia or Waterloo - I guess I’ll give this album credit for not having those songs on it. From there it’s just kind of a lot of BS in the middle up until Fernando, which I’ll admit is a DECENT song. Almost bumped up to 1.5 because of it, but then I learned the song is a bonus track and wasn’t even on the initial album release. So, 1 it is, though honestly I still don’t think I would ever seek out that song on my own anyway. Anyway, can we end the whole ABBA thing now? If I have to hear another song of theirs at a party, I will commit war crimes.

Hate ABBA

No thanks. Next.

Ugh. I work hard not to yuk peoples yum. When ABBA comes up, I respect peoples opinion. But this is utter shit.

Didn’t enjoy this one

Fuck that

Fuck ABBA bc of that ABBA memory, fernando’s nice though. When will this lease come and feeling nerves about fitting in to this group

Not my style. Couldn’t even get through the entire album

Har utsatt da lenge, men va vel på tide å komma seg gjennom da. Hørte kun på sangane eg ikkje hadde hørt før, og då gikk da i grunn greit. Trekk for resten tho

0 interés en Abba

No

Overfamiliar, overrated pap

I don’t want anymore abba!

When I Kissed the Teacher has a pretty high ick factor considering Bjork and Benny write it. ABBA churned out saccharine pop tunes like a highly optimized and efficient candy factory, but c’mon, this is pretty low quality, empty stuff.

Just not for me, at all.

The worst band in the world

Ew...ABBA

No i przyjechala ABBA, zebym wreszcie zmierzyl sie z tak klasycznym zespolem, ktory wyznaczyl kierunek muzyce rozrywkowej lat 70, wizytowka grania europejskiego za wielkom wodom, bo zespol szwedzki, potwierdzily sie takze moje przypuszczenie jakoby nazwa bandy, to byly inicjaly czlonkow, dwie baby i dla chlopy dodatkowo jeszcze sie poparowali, jedna para przed rozpoczeciem dzialalnosci, a druga pod koniec, obie pary sie zdezintegrowaly w tym samym czasie co banda, ciekawe co wyniklo z czego w tym wypadku, bo po takiej karierze kazdy z albumow topowal czarty, sprzedawali wszystko co wyszlo z ich studia, a tu takie szybkie zakonczenie kariery zespolowej po osmiu latach dzialalnosci, ale co do samego arrivala to jest to dokladnie ten typ muzyki ktorego nie potrafie sluchac i jest on mi wyjatkowo niemily, przez swoja milosc, konformizm muzyczny, wszechobecne poczucie mialkosci, jako czwarty album w dyskografii zespolu plasuje go dokladnie w srodku stawki chronologicznej, a jak dla mnie to pierwszy abbowy album jakie slyszalem, bo wczesniej moje uszy byly jedynie gwalcone wszelakimi radiowymi atakami, ale samemu z wlasnej nieprzymuszonej woli nie sluchalem, a dwa hitowe kawalki arrivala, czyli money money i dancing queen brzmia jak kazde inne hity zespolu, wiec sluchajac dancingowego queena wyraznie nasuwa sie deja vu z waterloo, nie jest to z pewnoscia najbardziej synthowy album w ich wykonaniu, ale i tak instrumentale sa tak oklepane, bo zaslyszane pewnie w X innych kawalkach jak to ma sie z dzielami wybitnie influencyjnymi, dodatkowo banda tworzyla na zasadzie pany BB pisaly traczki, ktore byly spiewane przez panie AA, chociaz BB tez sie udzielali na wokalach, bo jednym z najbardziej rozpoznawalnych abbowych akcentow jak dla mnie sa wlasnie harmonie jakie maja zarowno panie na wokalach jak i towarzyszace in pany, czuc tutaj chemie sparowanych ludzi, panowie BB jeszcze cos brzdakali na wszelakich instrumentach, ale jednak ABBA tworzyla juz w nowoczesnym stylu, wiec sesyjni muzycy byli odpowiedzialni za wieszkosc instrumentali, chociaz pewnie mieli jakis stalych wspolpracownikow, ale to juz trzeba by postudiowac lore innych albumikow, no i pany BB byly jeszcze odpowiedzialne za produkcje, kolejna wazna ceche abbowych nagran, ktore byly przystepnie perfekcyjne, nagrania prawie sprzed pol wieku, a technicznie tak ostro przystepne dla sluchacza, ktory chce dzwieku przyjemnego i lekkiego, bo przeciez muzyka rozrywkowa przeznaczona do densowania w duzej mierze, nie bez przyczyny abba to pradziady disko polo przez swoj wklad w euro disko, wiec o ambitnosci tekstow i probie ich jakiejkolwiek nadinterpretacji nie bede sie rozpisywal, bo dziwne mysli przechodza przez glowe sluchajac albumu, ktory otwiera sie kawalkiem o calowaniu nauczyciela, a konczy prawie ze gospelowym instrumentalem, wiec 33 minuty pomiedzy tymi dwoma punktami to prawdziwa podroz przez kregi piekielne, dodatkowo jeszcze spotifaj uraczyl mnie jakas ekskluzywna wersja, ktora obrodzila w dwa mniej densingowe kawalki, fernando o pieknym gosciu i wolnosci, a drugi o pieknych hawajach, bo na tym albumie wszystko jest piekne, mlode i szczesliwe, a jesli nie jest to tylko dlatego, ze za bardzo sie slucha, nie zapomne tego odsluchu jeszcze z jednego powodu, pozwolil mi on sprawdzic ile czlek jest w stanie utrzymac rece nad poziomem glowy, z czego wynika ze jesli bardzo chce mozna nawet i 45 minut, a odczucia po nich sa zblizone do tych co po pieciu, wiec piekny to byl odsluch nie zapomne go nigdy, a jednoczesnie mam cicha nadzieje, ze jako lista brytyjska, to nie bedzie wiecej abbowych szlagierow sie przewijalo, ale pewnie to zludna nadzieja patrzac na to jak sprzedaly sie ich krazki od pierwszego do ostatniego, plejkowo dodam monejowego songa na liste wszystkiego i niczego

I Just Can't Do It

Why this group exist escapes me, awful, can't give zero stars but hated every moment of this one

Dross. Can’t stand Abba and this did nothing to change that. Can’t take them seriously.

I cant do it. Mama Mia, sure fine, but thats it. That's all. My Abba cup done runneth over.

This is the first album I couldn’t even sample all of the songs. I just can’t do disco.

Ik snap dat dit 'goed' is, en heel knap en catchy en meer van dat soort bejubelingen. Maar ik krijg er gewoon dunne schijt van. Ik kan het niet aanhoren.

I'm over ABBA....

Ouff, s’était pénible. J’ai failli abdiqué, mais je suis un gars de principe et je l’ai écouter jusqu’à happy Hawaï. I was so happy it was the end! Je l’évite l’album au complet, je m’ennuie presque de Sinatra Je levite i am the Tiger eat me b****!

Awful music, did not listen.

,j 'ai toujours eu une répulsion pour ce groupe et je l'ai 'aiencore et dire que c'est un succes planétaire en dit long sur les humains et leurs gout

A few ok songs, but not the strongest hand to open with. Knowing me knowing you is a great track. Not my cup of herring juice

vachier vachier vachier vachier Venez pas me dire que le métal rend violent, moi c'est abba qui me donne le goût de fesser dans les murs de SheetRock à grand coups de pieds. Criss de quétaines. MAUVAIS MAUVAIS MAUVAIS

Gag me with a spoon.

meh not very good

No I did not..

If there is a Hell, they are playing this on repeat.

some of the schlockier, inauthentic sounding music i've heard .. Dancing Queen rips

This was really hard to get through..

Better! Enjoyed Dancing Queen!