Lady In Satin

I'm sorry, I just really do not get the appeal of jazz

Why is this even here

Voilà on y est, voici une de ces œuvres que le grand livre nous présente comme un monument intouchable, un pinacle de l'émotion, un disque-testament. "Lady In Satin" de Billie Holiday. Sur le papier, tout est là pour me plaire. On me parle d'un album de rupture, de la quintessence de la chanson triste, enregistré par une femme au bout du rouleau, la voix ravagée par une vie d'excès et de chagrins. Une icône brisée qui livre ses dernières forces dans un micro. Putain, ça sonne presque comme du neofolk avant l'heure, un truc qui pourrait faire passer les disques les plus sombres de Nick Cave pour des comptines pour enfants. J'étais prêt, j'étais prêt à pleurer, à me rouler en boule, à sentir le poids de l'humanité m'écraser. J'ai donc appuyé sur "play" et... le choc, le putain de choc total. Comment dire... Imaginez que vous attendiez un film de David Lynch et que vous vous retrouviez devant un Walt Disney. Car c'est ça, l'album sonne comme la bande originale d'un Disney, et c'est effroyable. On a d'un côté la voix de Billie, et de l'autre, cette production... ces arrangements... ce déluge de violons sirupeux qui semble tout droit sorti de la scène où la mère de Bambi se fait buter. C'est ça, "Lady In Satin" : la mère de Bambi vient de crever, mais les petits oiseaux bleus continuent de chanter et de virevolter autour de son cadavre encore chaud. C'est obscène. Alors oui, je veux bien entendre l'argument des puristes : "Oui, mais c'est justement ce contraste qui est génial ! La voix brisée, spectrale, qui lutte contre ces arrangements lisses et parfaits, c'est ça le génie !". Mon cul, ouais. Pour moi, ce n'est pas un contraste, c'est un sabotage. C'est comme mettre du papier peint à petites fleurs roses sur les murs d'un squat de punk. Ça n'a aucun sens. Et la voix de Billie... parlons-en, ce n'est plus la diva au timbre d'or. C'est une femme qui se noie, on l'entend chercher son souffle, sa justesse est précaire, chaque note semble être un effort surhumain. C'est poignant, c'est tragique, c'est la vérité crue d'une vie qui s'éteint. Et qu'est-ce qu'ils ont foutu par-dessus ? Une tonne de guimauve. Un océan de sucre glace. Une avalanche de bons sentiments orchestraux qui cherchent à tout prix à rendre la misère... jolie. Car il faut être honnête, la production de ce disque est une insulte, chaque fois que la voix de Billie, fatiguée, spectrale, menace de nous raconter quelque chose de vrai, de nous faire ressentir le poids de sa vie de merde, paf ! Un coup de harpe. Vlan ! Une charge de violons qui te donnerait envie de gerber des arcs-en-ciel. On dirait que l'orchestre a pour seule et unique mission d'étouffer la moindre parcelle d'âme qui tente de s'échapper. "Oh là, attention, elle va nous faire chialer ! Vite, balancez la sauce mielleuse, les gars !". C'est simple, écouter "Lady In Satin", c'est comme assister à une lobotomie en direct dans le château de la Belle au bois dormant. Tout est lisse, propret, dégueulassement inoffensif. C'est de la douleur pour les nuls, de la tragédie pour les gens qui ont peur de se salir les mains. C'est le son parfait pour un dîner chez des gens qui pensent que le jazz, c'est "sympa pour l'ambiance". Je reviens sur mon image de Disney, ce n'est même plus la mort de la mère de Bambi. C'est Blanche-Neige qui chante "Un jour mon prince viendra" après s'être fait violer par les sept nains. Le décalage est si monstrueux qu'il en devient grotesque. Alors oui, il y a la voix, ce fantôme qui flotte au-dessus du marécage de guimauve. On l'entend, elle est là, elle se débat. Elle nous rappelle qu'avant ce massacre, il y avait une artiste immense, une femme qui a tout vécu, tout chanté. C'est pour elle, et uniquement pour elle, que ce disque mérite un point. Un point pour le courage. Un point pour la peine. Un point pour la voix et uniquement pour la voix. Pour ce filet sonore brisé, ce râle d'agonie magnifique qui est la seule chose authentique sur cette putain de galette. Pour le reste... C'est un monument de mauvais goût, un exemple parfait de la façon dont l'industrie musicale peut transformer l'or en merde. Fuyez. Ou alors, écoutez-le pour comprendre ce qu'est un sabotage artistique. C'est une leçon, en quelque sorte, une leçon qui coûte très, très cher à mes oreilles.

Booooooorrrrring.

1958 (again!) I really didn't like this. Heard before ❌️ Listened this time ✅️ in part Revisit ❌️ hell no Urghh! ★☆☆☆☆(2/10)

# 537 : Lady In Satin Zzzzz. BORED. An extremely slow old Jazz album with over 1 hour of dreariness... Makes you reconsider whether there are as many as 1,001 albums you must listen to before you die….SNORE! What to listen for: Nothing stood out Listened: 01/08/2025

Komt misschien door mijn auto boxen, maar het klonk mij erg veel van hetzelfde. Ook niet zo'n fan van dat ellenlange gejammer

I found this more palatable than other selections of this ilk, but it's still just *a singer singing songs* to me. I get why people like this stuff, I'm just into the whole creative process rather than someone having a great voice...

Bit same same

What's slower than the average funeral dirge? Singing in the 50s

Too slow. Gives off Olive Garden vibes

Artiste connue de nom uniquement. Je suis vraiment déçu par cet album : l’instrumentation orchestrale m'a rebuté dès le début, elle laisse très peu de place pour des improvisions (l'essence du jazz pour moi), et ... je n'aime pas la voix de BH ! Je ne suis pas sur que ce soit le meilleur album pour découvrir cette artiste. Un vrai calvaire, je ne suis donc pas allé au bout. =>1/5

Oh boy. Here we go, an album I can't come up with a reasonable defense for... I've always been an advocate of approaching art patiently. I think if you don't finish something because it is "boring," you don't get to have an opinion about it because you haven't engaged with the art in its intended way. You don't get to judge the quality of the whole movie if you stopped watching halfway through because you thought that the prologue was too boring. To assess its merit, you first need to know what it was building up towards. If someone were to ask me to create a long list of my favorite songs, probably 80% or even more of it would consist of tracks that are over 10 minutes long. Longer formats give musicians more room for artistic expression, let them paint a more full, bigger picture. By not being confined by time restrictions, they're not forced to be eloquent and can fill the composition with as much detail as they want. Of course, you can't expect a 20-minute song to be structured like a pop track. The parts will have to be longer, and there's going to be more of them. This almost inevitably leads to the emergence of more low-key or even "boring" parts. But isn't this a problem? If some part is boring, doesn't it bring the whole song down? Well, in the case of long-form music, not necessarily. If I'm listening to something like GY!BE of Swans, the low-key parts are not going to bother me since I know that somewhere in the song, there is a part that is going to blow me away with it's sheer sonic power. Although this sort of minimalistic, quieter, more relaxed composition would usually be a problem for me, in this specific case, it is actually a benefit because it helps to establish atmosphere and build up anticipation before a huge reveal. A good build up enhances the crescendo by rewarding patience. This is what makes me like long songs so much. In a typical pop or EDM song, before the chorus or the drop—the part that is supposed to be the most hype—you'll get, like, 30 seconds, maybe a minute, of build up. It just never hits that hard. Even when it's not bad, I never stop thinking that, compared to long-form songs, they fail to appropriately build anticipation. The composition of the song doesn’t do enough to make me hyped up for the drop—the vibes are just not there. It is certainly not impossible to achieve a similar effect in a shorter time frame. Off the top of my head, one example would be Fade to Black by Metallica. Before arriving at arguably one of the best riffs ever written, the songs spends 2 minutes on build up that does its job incredibly well. Still, although short build ups can be good, the strongest ones are always longer. But how does this all relate to Lady in Satin? Well, that’s precisely the problem—it doesn’t. It doesn’t have any huge or impactful parts. Neither the instruments nor the vocals are going for anything catchy or interesting. Nothing stands out, there’s no build up, nothing to anticipate, and nothing to get excited about. There’s nothing to catch your attention. You can be patient and sit through it (like I did), but there’s no reward. This is worse than elevator music, because elevator music is at least trying to be pleasant. Imagine an album that consists entirely of the boring parts of long songs—it is meaningless since the entire purpose is build up. It’s not underwhelming—it’s just not “whelming” at all. This album is completely devoid of fun. Even before I started listening to music, I sort of knew that vocal jazz would be at the absolute bottom tier of my preferences. This kind of music doesn’t attract me at all. I hate this slow and brooding style of vocals and instruments with no meaningful variation of tone or volume throughout the songs; no crescendos and barely any accents to break the monotony. Since then, I've learned that there's perhaps a bit more to this genre than I'd originally given it credit for, but I doubt that there's anything that would make me like it. This is just something that is fundamentally not for my taste. My ADHD brain simply can't handle something SO understimulating. Lady in Satin is the absolute embodiment of everything I dislike about vocal jazz with not a single thing that would've made it a little bit more palpable for me. It doesn’t feature anything I typically enjoy about music. Although it’s not offensive in any way—it’s not going to blow your ears out or have any tonally unpleasant sounds—it is boring to an utterly absurd degree. I know this probably reads like an angry rant, but it’s really not. I’m not angry. I just think that this is an extremely boring album—that’s it. Music is meant to be entertaining, and in my opinion, this is simply not. On an unrelated note, this is the second vocal jazz album I've heard that uses the word "gay" at least once... I'm starting to think it might've meant something different in the 50s...

1.5

Not my preference

Not really my jam, but sings very well.

I really enjoy jazz, and Billie Holiday has a perfect voice for it, but this just doesn't do much for me. I'd have to be in a very specific mood (like Christmas Eve at 9 PM) to wanna put an album like this on. It's delicately and beautifully produced, but not for me. All the songs could be one long track.

Beautiful music, but not for me.

Great vocals but music is a little too old for my new gen taste. I think it’s a style that has the potential to grow on me. 1/5 just because I kept losing interest in the style.

listened during a snowy miserable commute to work and am afraid ms holiday suffered for that, this was a bit too jazzy christmassy for me to enjoy

nope. Old and shite. Not for me at all. So repetitive.

Perhaps the slowest album on the list. Made me remember "69 Love Songs" and how painful of an experience that was

For Heaven's Sake let's turn this off. Didn't enjoy the vocals. Or the content. I would say it was too smooth ... but actually the vocals were quite harsh. And every song sang in exactly the same way. Plus the music was all kind of big and silly. An over decorated cake of an album. No flavour at all. Nothing here for me, I'm afraid.

I have never listened to Billie Holiday before but somehow I still got much less than I had hoped from this album. Truly forgettable. On a bit of further discovery, I did find it interesting to see how the ‘Strange Fruits’ song inspired ‘Blood on the Leaves’ (2013).

The Lady In Satin smokes more than a little too much. This album is one song that’s an hour and five minutes (too) long. That it was released post-humorous must be why it made the 1001 too long album list. A couple of the songs are on the album three times, sheesh. Not good (1.4*s)

This album really had me questioning why Billie Holiday is so celebrated, such a drag. All the songs sound the same, nothing good about them, much too long with repeats of the same track multiple times (or was this literally just the same song 16 times, I can't even tell). This sounded so 50's and reminded me of a Disney princess ballad at times (only way worse). I didn't enjoy it at all, low 0.65.

Good god I'm done with the 50s. No more please. It's such a slow and boring era for music. Was everyone just too boozed up on breakfast, at work, and after work martini hour to pay attention? Was there a different song on this album? Swear it was on groundhog day loop. I did not care for Holiday's voice waggle at all. Done...out...please make it stop before I fall asleep at the wheel or my desk...0.7.

Woof. Didn't think this would be so bad as it got started but this was a tough listen. I didn't find anything notable in this album as I wasn't impressed with the vocals nor the backing band. Felt like it was almost the same song 10 times in a row, which I didn't enjoy the first time through. This was a tough 45 minutes. .52 stars

Ok

1.5/5

I HATED this one I'm sorry to say! The songs were quite nice although a bit boring. But her voice was terrible And it just kept going on and on. Multiple versions of the same songs - it was too much! I really was begging for this one to end and I struggled getting through it 1 ⭐️

Not my Music!

Album molto monotono, canzoni tutte uguali e non particolarmente belle. Sentita una sentite tutte.

- absolutely not - every song is boring and sounds the exact same - her voice is irritating - I truthfully did not make it through this whole thing (even without the bonus tracks), but I feel like that's a good thing because my ears would have begun to bleed if I had to listen to another moment of it

Vocal inflections annoyed me to no end, was a slog to go through. 2/10

Sorry for that, but what the hell have a ruined voice with an uninspired orchestra to do on this list.

No

Not for me

Nö

Sweet, suffering Jesus! That was a tedious slog of an album. Billie Holiday has an annoying, child-like singing voice & kitschy delivery. She uses this to barf out cringe lyrics over a band playing the most generic, old-ass Disney film-sounding music ever. They repeated this formula on *all* 12 songs. 12 identical songs. 12 identically insufferable songs. It's mental. I was bored silly for the 40+ minutes I listened to this torturous record, apart from the moments that Billie Holiday's voice made me wish I was deaf. It's an album full of love songs, but the only emotion I felt was seething hatred. 👎👎

This just made me wish I was listening to Aretha or Ella instead the entire time. I just don’t think I like Billie’s voice/inflection, and that paired with some of the blandest slow-oldies ever written did this album no favors.

slow boring music. resident sleeper as they say. i honestly don’t even love her voice.

Puts me to sleep. Can't enjoy her grovely voice. 1/5

Sorry, 4-5 tracks in and that's enough. She has a great voice even I can tell that. And I can understand that her career did a lot for black women in music. If not for her we probably would not have had Beyonce.......No I'm trying to be positive here. Anyway, it's just not my style of music. 10-15 mins I can deal with but any more than that it's just got nothing. Sorry not for me. A very low 1. Probably 5 or lower out of 100.

I’ve not been sleeping much lately. This should help 💤

I agree with Iain I'm sure this is what he is thinking, it was Christmas music for old people. When I'm really old I'll listen to this at Christmas. Not her best at all, she sounded like she was about to die. Turns out after checking, she probably was... Shame, but not her best work and not one for the epitaph. Would give it 0.

I kinda had to force myself through this album, not my vibe at all. I enjoy jazz music, but I swear to god every single song was the exact same on this album. Whatever, I guess I'm not a romantic. I could see myself enjoying the ambiance caused by playing this album at the right time. No standout tracks, I'm a fool to want you is going on the playlist, I guess. 1/5

Boring album

A bunch of slow love songs with absolutely zero change in cadence or tone. Bored me to tears

I was actually interested to listen to this as I’ve heard so many great things, and am vaguely aware of who Billie Holiday is and how she sounds. I was pretty disappointed to find that all the songs song the same. Lovely voice, but no variety. Listen again: no (maybe individual songs( Purchase for my collection: no Favourite Song: Worst Song

C’est beau, mais on se fait chier un peu non? Après j’en suis qu’à la première chanson, donc on verra… bon on en est à la 5ème chanson, et c’est toujours le même constat. Pour la première fois, je pense peut-être ne pas finir l’album, j’ai l’impression d’écouter la même chanson en boucle. Finalement j’ai réussi à finir l’album, donc en conclusion: en tant qu’album, l’experience d’écoute est très ennuyeuse et rend peux justice à son contenu. Par contre, je suis convaincu qu’individuellement, ces chansons serait parfaite dans un film.

Every song sounded the same

Was the album all just the same song? I heard different words pertaining the love throughout, but other than that it was just one block of indifferent warbling. 1/5

Dull.

Not for me, maybe my granny

This isn't a bad album, it's just not an album that was meant for me. The voice is too prickly for my tastes. She sounds like she needs a good gargle before stepping up to the mic. I Get Along Without You is so so for an amazing song. I'd turn to Nina Simone every time. Bailed halfway through.

All the songs sound the same.

This is a boring album, sorry Billie. I didn't finish it, every song feels the exact same: same slow strings, same warbling voice, same everything. Feels like default Christmas music you'd hear coming from a sad shopping centre.

Its incredibly dated now. Basically unlistenable

1/5 Not my thing, put me to sleep.

Normally, I'm in for this sort of album; Especially with one of the greats, such as Billie Holiday! But this album just felt like a complete production miss. The orchestral arrangements strike me as overly glossy and schmaltzy. On the other hand, Billie's vocals sound strained, especially during the line punctuating vibratos (of which there is one on nearly every single line). Honestly, I expected something great, but after 3 attempts, I just couldn't sit through the full length album.

Ugh. I really want to like this, but all I hear is David Sedaris singing the bologna song ... https://dai.ly/x2r8gyi

Another "penultimate" album from a female singer? Well, I guess I knew what's to expect despite that suspicious genre name of "vocal jazz". Aaaaaand it sucks, even for a '50s pop-jazz album. Her voice is like a whistling drone, it's somewhere between irritating and boring. Yeah, this is her "penultimate" album and it's her voice's last performance after years of alcohol and drugs. But... does it matter? I doubt if this is included in the list as a do-not-do-drugs-or-you'll-sound-like-a-chicken-trying-to-sing-like-a-songbird campaign or something. I also doubt if this is included for us to experience and appreciate Billie Holiday's voice. It's far from her best performance, I think. The orchestra is also mediocre. But I guess it captures the '50s sound well. Overall, I'd rather listen to three hours of Ella Fitzgerald (or even Billie Holiday herself before her voice succumbed) instead of forty minutes of this. At least Ella's voice is at full power and passion when I listened to her in the ridiculously long "The Gershwin Songbook". What I'm trying to say is that I don't really hate the orchestra pop songs released when my grandparents are in elementary or high school. As long as I feel the smooth flow and the gentle yet powerful voices of the era, I'm in.

The only kind of jazz I listen to recordings of, this still didn't quite find way into me. Sorry Billie!

This is good. Unfortunately I can't stand it.

Offensively dull. Every song sounds the same. Same dull music. Same ticking drum beat reminding you life is finite and you're wasting listening to some woman croak

really hard to get through this. Hard to imagine how anyone would have ever wanted to listen to this album.

6. Lady In Satin - Billie Holiday. 17 tracks. Sultry and Bluesy, but completely wasted on me. I couldn't wait for each song to end. If I could have given it 0 stars I would have. It really just isn't for me. 1/5.

not to my taste

Do not enjoy those vocals

Boring

Clairement pas mon style. C'était sympa à écouter en travaillant mais rien de prenant. Ambiance très très Disney.

did not like this

Not my type of music. 1/5

One note throughout; take a gentle orchestral backing and sing about love. If the band hadn't stopped playing between songs then I don't think I would've noticed if it was one long 45 minute song. Great voice though. Best track: The End of a Love Affair

Coildnt do it, not listenable